Young Sardanapalus has always
appreciated the last minute dinners
left for him by the porters
who whilst in retirement
still reside at the college
Young Sardanapalus has always exercised
the greatest caution
when taking women back to his rooms
an undergarment left within view
or a sudden shriek of pleasure
might reveal his hidden game
He has often considered the priesthood
When attending lectures at the college
Young Sardanapalus often falls asleep
(The consequence of many nights)
and dreams of his attendance
In terms of learning
Young Sardanapalus has few equals
he is often to be found
studying in his rooms at night
with a bottle of claret
as a companion
During his days at college
Young Sardanapalus joined only one society
The Balfours
in his final year
he was elected as its president
an honour that occasioned tears