I am writing a poem called

Coffee Cunt and Cheese on Toast

Why

Because they are three of my favourite things

Really

Yes

I adore coffee and wherever I am in the world

I drink coffee

India

Iceland

Ireland and in Greece

It does not matter where I am

What about cunt

Explain yourself

Do you find my cunt tedious

Far from it

I think your cunt is delicious

It is full of mystery and delight

I like your pubic hair

I often sleep there in my dreams

And think of your perfumed cave

Cheese on Toast Stanley

This is just too explicit of you

I love you dearly but Cheese on Toast

Have you another toaster

No

So why Cheese on Toast

I know that you are blunt and have no filter

But Cheese on Toast

It is all about mathematics Jane

In what way

You know that I love Coffee Cunt and Cheese on Toast

So you ensure that these are the component parts of our lazy mornings

You make the coffee and then bring it to me

Your gown falls open revealing your cunt

And then you bring me Cheese on Toast

This makes me happy

You spoke about mathematics

Yes

What I am saying is that each can exist on its own

Coffee is a solitary drink

Cheese on Toast is a solitary snack

What about cunts

I was getting to that

A woman will only have one cunt

If she had two or more she would look funny

But cunts are solitary creatures shy and hidden

They are not as gregarious as the others

Stanley you are talking shit

I implore you to end this poem straight away

Why

Because it going nowhere

It is going forward

All poems go forward

And I suppose backwards

Stanley

Yes

Shut Up

Why

I want you to stop writing

If you do not I will wear a ghastly nightie in bed

I will serve you tea and give you mushrooms on toast

I hate mushrooms

Are you going to stop writing

Yes

 

 

Stan and Jane