Like many people I met my future wife
When I was at college
It seems strange that although I was aware of her
I had not really spoken to her
She was as beautiful as I was self centred
This was until I wrote a fifteen minute play
For the Drama in Dorking week
In short six of the most promising writers in college
Were commissioned to write a short play
That would be presented in front of an audience
Along with the mayor and the college governors
However although I was not aware of it at the time
Three guest from Japan had been invited along
And they were seriously considering sponsoring the college
My play ran into trouble straight away when it was discovered
That it was full of profanities and suggestions of sexual bribery
In short it was about a tired college lecturer
Who was given the task of welcoming straightlaced visitors
To the college as they were going to sponsor a new building
His name was Christopher Herrman
To him it was just a typical shit day at the ranch
He argued with his colleagues and was teasing the new maths lecturer to the point of cruelty
I used the existing staff at the college and lampooned them without shame
And if this was not bad enough I suggested that one of the female students was not beyond offering sexual favours
In exchange for sympathetic considerations when marking her awful work
And because of that it was banned as not being suitable for the evening
I had half expected that and was not surprised
But I had my supporters within the college
And was offered my place as long as I censored my short play
This I did removing all but one of the fucks and all of the cunts
Robin and I cast the play and his girlfriend agreed to be the struggling student
I left it up to her how she would offer the favours
Robin was cast as Christopher Herrman and I was his understudy
But on the day before the play was due to be performed disaster struck
As Robin and Jill were involved in a minor car accident which shook them up
I immediately stepped into the role of Christopher Herrman
And that is where Jane stepped in by taking the role of Viva
She learnt her lines in a matter of hours and rehearsed with me that afternoon
Thankfully my play was the final play of the evening
And all went reasonably well until the seduction scene
When out of the blue Jane lifted her mini skirt with her back to the audience
I had written no stage direction for this and expected to see her panties
But I was given a privileged view of her full pubic bush
It was for me and me only nobody else was aware of the display
Initially I thought Jane was playing the ultimate practical joke at my expense
But I somehow managed to stumble through my lines
My play was awarded the Dale College Award for best new play
And the college was awarded its sponsorship
It all ended happily especially for me
As I asked Jane out that very evening and the rest is history
When I asked her why she exposed her cunt to me in such a public manner
She noted that she knew then that I was her future love
But needed to lift her veil so that I became fully aware of her
She was and still is an English Rose and is quite shy
So this theatre was totally out of character
A couple of years ago she asked me what I thought of her exhibition
Was it surprise or astonishment or was I disgusted or shocked
I told her that my first thoughts were when I saw her nakedness
Was that she was a natural blonde