On the day he finished writing
The Dunstan Parallel
Septimus C
Read a newspaper
That he had found on a train
The newspaper contained an advertisement for optical health
And within the advertisement
There was a hidden message
which read
ERIC FLOPPED NEAR TOPAZ
LET SPEED PACE CLIFFORD
EDWIN FUCKED ZAPATA
The message disturbed Septimus so much
That he vowed never to write again
And on that very evening
He sailed to Afrika
Never to return