I often experience an existential crisis

Well at least once a day

My most recent was in Milan yesterday

And involved light food poisoning

As I had eaten shellfish at a business meeting

One should never eat shellfish at corporate events

It was a very posh hotel with some very important customers

I need not enlarge on what food poisoning does to you

Even if you are unlucky enough not to die in agony

I retired to the rest room of angels which was so posh

That real estate was being sold near the bidets

It was here that not to put it too lightly

I had my Hiroshima moment a genuine Hiroshima moment

And then it was over I felt much better and considerably lighter

A few seconds later my problems started as the flush was broken

The flush was really broken I tried weeping into the pan to dispose of the debris

But that did not work I made myself vomit but only caused the situation to worsen

A Hit and Run was my only solution because the rest room was perfumed

A person entering this religious palace would not be aware of any odour

So I cleaned myself thoroughly and left the decaying shellfish in the pool

But that was the start of my problems as for the rest of the afternoon

I was deep in the midst of an existential crisis and began questioning God

But there was no answer as it was the seventh day of the seventh week in June

From my vantage I watched my colleagues enter the restroom and not return

My thoughts faded back to my days on national service and the massacres

Oh those awful massacres after which no cat dog or hamster remained breathing

To come clean and end this latest existential crisis I confessed to the Hit and Run

But it was too late as I was the last remaining member of this once great company

All the rest were dead and I was trapped in this room with two of the ghosts

McNally from Business Opportunities and Mr Sly from Bee Enterprises in Kyoto