Stan why do I always find a pair of my panties under your pillow
Because I like to be close to you
You can keep a pair of my pants under your pillow if you like
It really fucks me off Stan
I am a busy girl Stan and I find it really annoying
It is a sign of love
You know how choosy I am about my underwear
I pay a great deal for my bras and panties
And you treat them as toys
Yesterday after I had showered
I was looking for some panties
As Lucy had invited us to the gallery
Yes us Stan and Jane
But you could not be bothered and fucked off to West Ham
They need all the support they can get at present
Also the show at Lucy’s gallery was a total waste of time
Lucy is my best friend
I have to put up with the neanderthals that you insist I meet
I have known Lucy since Roedean
Really I do like your friend
Like hell you are always trying to upset her
I tease her because of her politics that is all
She does not think and is led by others
That is why I shoot her down
She has cried because of you
You are cruel
There is a poet
I cannot remember his name who notes
I am only but your reflection if you do not like what you see then turn away
I totally agree with him
I am Lucy’s mirror although I would rather not be Lucy’s mirror
Do not be cruel Stan
She is rather large even you have to admit that
And now she has pronouns after her name
It is a madness
The Theatre of the Absurd
Do you still love me Stan
Yes on Tuesdays and Fridays
Then why did you make such a fuss about the gallery
Because it was a second rate artist
With little or no talent
He was chosen for other reasons
Those being
He was chosen because of where he was born and because he was a trendy queer
I should know
Know what
Why this chap is a fraud
Lucy and Dick are frauds
There are plenty of incredibly talented unknown artists out there
But they are just straightforward artists
That is not trendy
Remember Jane I studied Art History at college
You are just an opinionated shit Stan
Jane
What
Would you like me to treat you to some new panties
Anything you like
Primark maybe
OUCH
Why did you do that
Because you are a cunt Stan
Why a cunt
You get under my skin
All your pathetic mind games
I was being serious
If you are running out of panties then I will buy you some more
As long as you let me keep my favourite ones under my pillow
There is no need I have plenty of pairs thank you very much
Then why are you moaning
I am not moaning
You are
They are my property
Given
You have no right to retain them
Do you remember when we met
What about it
Do you remember I asked you send me some of your pubic hair in the post
It was a love gift
Like Byron and Caroline Lamb
I still have the envelope in my box of treasures along with my George Best autograph and another pair of your panties
The used ones
Yes
How gross
They were the first pair of panties that you gave me
You told me that they were wet with your desire
They have been in there ever since
It must smell like a canning factory in there
It does
But when I handle them I can almost hear the music of the song thrush
You are very sick Stan
Thank you
Jane I have a whizzo idea
That being
In future when you run out of panties
Either wash them more often
Thin ice Stan
Or go commando
I sometimes do
But just think what I wear
You wear nice clothes Jane
I dress you well
Thin ice
I love cotton dresses
And what you might call short skirts
I think that I have lovely legs
Unlike Lucy’s tree trunks
Stan
I agree you are rather lucky
Can you not see the disadvantages
No
Upskirting
Remember we use the tubes frequently
There are perverts who upskirt you
They film you
I thought it was illegal
It is
But the cops have fuck all else to do
I might end up on a porno website
Wow give me the address
Janescunt.com
That would be fantastic
I like not wearing anything underneath especially during the warmer months
It is so liberating
The trouble is that you forget
I was at Bernard Next to the Thames
When I noticed a chap looking up my skirt
As men do
It was then I realised that I was wearing my tartan skirt
My favourite
And that he knew that I was a natural blonde
Did he disappear to the gender neutral bogs
No you showed up
But and do not make fun of me
I am all ears
It actually turned me on
Jane whatever would God say
Seriously I felt so dirty
It is the upmost male fantasy
That and two beautiful gay girls together
Stan life is not like your French movies
Betty Blue
Betty who
And Blue is the Warmest Colour
These are my favourites
Stan I have just let you into my inner life and all you can do is take the piss
Do you think that you are telling me anything that I do not already know
So why do we argue Stan
Because I am a cunt and you are a bitch
That is why we stay together
It is a success story I think
Stan & Jane