Did you see that woman on the green bicycle
Which woman
The one on the green bicycle
Which bicycle
The green bicycle
The bus cut her up on the corner
No
You did
You watched her arse all the way up the road
What arse
That arse
Oh yes I think I remember her
What did you notice
That is a trick question Jane
It is not a trick question
What did you notice
That she was riding an expensive bicycle
It was more specific than that
That she was small of stature
She was not that small
Really
But what did you notice about her
Her bum
No Stan apart from that
I am an arse man you know
I am very aware of that
What is the your favourite thing about men
Their absence
Lesbian
If it had been a man you would have criticised him
Faggot
Not a real man
That is your usual tune
But men wearing Lycra Jane
It is all rather obscene
Rather like Speedo’s on the beach
There is just something odd
About male cyclists clad in Lycra
Riding together
In your view
You never see girls with them
You do at times
Yes but it is rare
The girl is probably the spare bike
Funny Stan Funny
But back to the woman on the green bicycle what did you notice
I know you saw this as I saw your mind working
Was it that her helmet matched her expensive bicycle
And that her green cycling rags
Were perfectly matched
Lime Green and Racing Green
It was a nice combination
Why did you not say anything
I did not think it worth discussing
You would discuss the opening of supermarket doors
Female fashions you love the subject
I have an eye
I am a fashionista
It comes as naturally as breathing to me
Did you not consider her choice worth discussion
Yes I did
You did not mention it
Why are we having this conversation Jane
It is pretty vacuous
I agree
This fiction will not attract a great readership
Possibly not
Its subject matter is pretty limited and rather boring
It tries to titillate with thoughts of women in tight clothing
I agree again
I feel that it is an escape road
Rather like an actress who takes her kit off to sell a crap movie
It is all rather cheap Stan
I am surprised at the writer
Stan & Jane