I own a cafe that is part of an underground station
It is very popular and was profitable
Until about a year ago
When a crip in a wheelchair complained
That my disabled access was poor
I told him that I did not cater for minorities
And would not accept blind customers if they walked
Through the door and then into the tables and then the chairs
Cheese graters were so fucking expensive ..
And the menus had already cost me a fortune
In fact my lovely little cafe was for able bodied people only
That is why it was called
The Able Bodied Cafe
But the crip was one of those fucking idiots
Who could not let it go and reported me
To both London Transport and the local authority
In short I was instructed to put in a ramp
So that cripples and those on disability scooters
Might access the cafe and not feel excluded
This I did at great expense
As I did not get much change out of £8000
Which ate into my annual profits
The problem was that with the exception of the crip
No cunt used it apart from kids playing marbles
I am not a cruel person and realise that crips
Do have a place in society even if they do get in the way
I went to church to ask God for forgiveness and direction
Nothing happened as the almighty must have been busy
That was until last Tuesday when I saw the crip in his wheelchair
Bombing along the icy platform towards me as crips tend to do
He then skidded on a patch of ice and fell into the path
Of an oncoming train and was crushed and fried all at once
I should have been shocked but I was not as I felt a great happiness
The happiness was so great that I arranged for the fucking ramp
To be broken up next day and donated the spoil to St Peter’s
For their children’s rockery and alpine pool
There is a moral to this story but I have yet to find it