Interview
Good Morning Stuart
Good Morning Maureen
Mo
It says Maureen on your badge
I prefer to be called Mo
That is strange as I prefer to be called SMO
Those are your initials
So they are
I think we have connected
I believe we have
May I ask you a question
Yes
Are you wearing underpants
Yes
What colour are they
Black I always wear black
And you
That is a sexist question
I always ask sexist questions
Blue I am wearing blue
Blue is the Warmest Colour
Mo
And to think that I have never heard that one before
SMO
Yes
Why do you write bad poetry
Because I do not write good poetry
Your poetry offends many people
Really I thought it was more the fictions and the miniatures
Some of the words you use are offensive
Really
Why do you use them
Do you look both ways when you cross a road
Yes
Yes is your answer
Yes
Yes
You are not answering my question
What question
Are you trying to make me cry
No
I often cry when I read some of your beautiful poems
Why
Because their beauty moves me
Do you cry when you write them
Only inside
Where does it all come from
God
I understand your answer but how does that apply to your other poems
What other poems
Your hostile poems
I do not write hostile poems
You do
I do not
Do
I do not
I have always wanted to argue with you
God is in my hostile poems
God is in your hostile poems
Yes
Why does God hang out in your hostile poems
Ask him
Him
Yes him
God is male
Yes
Why
Because he cannot cook
Mo
Yes
Do you write poetry
No
Because I am not good enough
Everybody is good enough
I disagree
Write a poem
No
Please
Do you really want to fuck me
Whilst enjoying High Tea
I like it
Fucking me
No
Then what
Your poem
You remind me of The Girl
The Girl
Yes in one of Sartre’s stories
Who was she
Just a girl
What did she do
She slept with Mathieu before he went to war
When he asked of her name
She replied
The Girl
Mathieu had revealed his name
We have revealed our names
I know the colour of your underwear
And you mine
I am not going to war
We differ in many ways
But supposing that I had not revealed my name
Would I have been
The Girl
No
Why
Because you have a name badge on
Maureen Blocker
That is not my real name
What is it
That’s telling
You are at an advantage
How do you know my name
It is on your books
That is my pen name
Really
My real name is Stephen Masefield
Really
The same as my father
I only use Stuart Miller Osborne as a pen name
Why
I am shy
Where is your father
In Heaven
Is he dead
No just on a day trip
You are going to make me cry
Have you a tissue
No
Neither have I
Shit happens
How did your father die
In a car crash in Ealing
He must have been very young
Nineteen
But he had written a lot of poetry
And was being celebrated
Like Rimbaud
In a way
Do you miss him
I hardly knew him
What is that
A note from my late father
Read it to me
Stephen I was in North London today sitting on a bench
When I saw a very beautiful woman wearing a white blouse
And a short brown skirt
She smiled at me
I smiled back
She was carrying a book of my poetry
And asked me to sign it
I agreed but only if she would sign my suicide note
Please keep it
I cannot
It means little to me
Just tell me your real name
I am the
The Girl
Just call me
The Girl