Tough Tough Wilderness and Fe Felix Fe were sitting on Deal Pier
It was a dull grey day and the coast of France visible on certain days was shrouded in mist
This annoyed both of them so they had brought thirteen pots of powder paint to brighten the day
They had lined these pots up a yard apart
A young boy ran by shouting with excitement at the mathematics in front of him
13 x 3 = 39 mummy
And if you subtract 11 then it equals 28 which is a Perfect Number
The young boy did not add to his commentary and ran in the general direction of the restaurant at the head of the pier
Fe Felix Fe picked up the pot fourth in line
It contained yellow powder paint
She threw the contents upwards until they were caught in the sea breeze and waited
Slowly the horizon began to turn yellow
But they could not see the coast of France
Tough Tough Wilderness picked up the pot tenth in line
It contained blue powder paint
He threw the contents upwards until they were caught in the sea breeze and waited
In the distance the blue and yellow paints mixed and created a green
They could see the green fields of France
But the cliffs lacked colour
Fe Felix Fe picked up the pot third in line
It contained white powder paint
Mummy says that white is not a colour
I know Paul Peter Paul but the cliffs of France lack colour today so I must use it
She threw the contents upwards until they were caught in the sea breeze and waited
Slowly the cliffs began to turn white
A passing seagull landed and dipped its head into the first pot which contained red powder paint
Its face was red
You look like a common whore
Fe Felix Fe said as she picked up the pot that the bird had overturned
I have a fancy fellow in Sandwich I hope he will fancy me still
You are the most beautiful whore in the world andI am sure that your beau will fancy you even with a red face
The contents of the pot had spilled on to the pier and soon the pier was a cosy red
That has put pay to the ravishing sunset has it not
But the summers are pleasant and the town is hot
Sunsets in May are never ravishing
The little boy who was as red as the pier walked by
Mummy says that the sunsets in Margate are better than those in Deal it’s the geography you know
He dipped his finger the thirteenth pot and found no powder paint at all
Why does this pot contain no paint at all
Fe Felix Fe picked up the pot and emptied its contents on to the promanade of the pier
See curious child this pot was full of paint for if you look beneath your feet then you can see the sea
Her words were true for beneath them the pier had disappeared in places and all that was visible was the waves on their journey towards the shore
There are six sea horses in the sea
One for mummy and five for me
Without warning the small boy emptied the contents of the eleventh pot in line into the sea
It contained mauve powder paint
Each of the sea horses
And a nearby mermaid turned purple
Much to their delight
Mummy says that mauve is a synthetic colour
Mummy does not like synthetic colours
Tough Tough Wilderness picked up the pot seventh in line
It contained pink powder paint
He threw the contents upwards until they were caught in the sea breeze and waited
Slowly the sky turned pink as if a distant sunset was touching the town
Streaks of pink
Streaks of blue
Lots of colour
For me and you
Sang the crew of a nearby fishing boat as it headed out to sea
Tough Tough Wilderness and Fe Felix Fe picked up the remaining pots that contained a variety of colours and threw the contents upwards until they were caught in the sea breeze and waited
Slowly the day took on its colour and drowned mariners climbed on to the pier and began dancing to sea shanties
A drowned maiden from a Victorian ship danced a jig with Fe Felix Fe as Tough Tough Wilderness picked the little boy up and pointed towards France
See little one you can see France clearly
There is postman
On his bike
Delivering parcels and letters
For children to like
In the fisherman’s shelter a mermaid sat combing her golden hair
Do you have silver
Do you have gold
My colour had faded
And I am so cold
Fe Felix Fe sat next to the stricken girl
The pots are nearly empty
Their contents spilled
I will help you immediately
As you are so chilled
She searched among the overturned pots and found both silver and gold and returned to the pale mermaid and tipped the remaining powders over her
The mermaid changed her colour and her silver tail shimmered along with her golden hair
I shall return to the sea
Fe Felix Fe
Thank you so much
For helping me
The little boy ran across towards the mermaid a looked at her with astonishment
Mummy says that mermaids do not exist
I assure you I exist Paul Peter Paul
The little boy threw a handful of blue powder paint at the mermaid
The is for your eyes you shall have the most beautiful blue eyes for when I am older I will marry you and bring you ashore
Mummy is not always right
The mermaid leaned forward and kissed the little boy on the cheek
I will wait for you Paul Peter Paul
But do not grow up too quickly
As the world is a magic place
Stroll through your life do not race
Fe Felix Fe walked with the little boy towards his mother who was waiting for him by the statue of Neptune near the entrance
When Fe Felix Fe returned to the pier it was quiet
The drowned had returned to the murky depths of their eternity and the mermaid had returned to her home
It was night and only the artificial lights on the pier showed any illumination
It is dark in France beloved I fear they are all asleep
Some are awake my love and are looking at the stars
But tonight there are no stars the sky is a velvet black
Tough Tough Wilderness reached into his pocket and threw a handful of diamonds into the air
You see you see
Fe Felix Fe
There are many stars
For you and me