I was called La Bête Dort

Because of my height 

I had a great deal of body hair 

Which added to the legend 

I was so tall that I could not stretch 

In the tiny bath or with any of my flatmates 

They would come into the bathroom 

To either shit or piss or just to stare at me 

A neanderthal jammed in the bath 

I had many offers from Anne Julie and Lemmy 

To share my bath which was an impossible task 

They called me The Incredible Hulk 

And although they were by no means vulnerable 

My flatmates looked on me to protect them 

Which was not helped on the occasions 

When a chap that they had met forgot his manners 

I would ask them quietly to leave without fuss

But if this was refused or abuse was received 

The inevitable would happen which I would later regret

The Safety of Objects was my first novel 

Followed soon after by Visible but Invisible 

I am working on my third book La Bête Dort which is about 

A giant of a man who knows that he cannot find love 

So he decides to enter the church which proves 

To be a big mistake as his country is invaded 

And he is asked to fight which he does successfully 

The hostilities cease and he is much decorated 

Which he hates as he hates war and does not wish 

To celebrate it as he thinks of himself as a man of peace 

But fate does not leave him alone as a woman is murdered 

By an illegal immigrant so he goes on a rampage 

He knows this is wrong but he blood is boiling 

Again in certain quarters he is celebrated 

But he ignores this and is last seen 

Sitting in bath in the Animal House 

With his beloved flatmates teasing him 

And asking him whether if they make themselves 

Very small that they might share his meagre bath