I had always had a softness for beautiful policemen
You know the type blond handsome and very tall
Sadly you did not meet them very often in the street
As they no longer entrapped dirty faggots in the parks
And then came the totally idiotic pandemic
When our green and pleasant land became a prison
There were rules and rules about rules about rules
One was allowed to exercise but not kiss infected butterflies
And exercise we did for hours and hours on end
Across meadows and streams hills and footpaths free
We were a million miles away from the diseased markets of other lands
Yet we finally made a mistake as Jane and I stopped for a break
On our large common that stretched as far as the eye could see
It was after I had finished my first cup of lemon tea
That I noticed a fat pervert alone on his mountain bike
I thought this a little strange as there were no sheep to fuck
How wrong I was as he was a police spy and we were fair game
As an hour or so later as we crossed a railway bridge
A police car pulled up beside us and the most handsome policeman
Stepped out and asked us what we were doing
Thankfully I was a few steps behind Jane
Studying the signalling layout towards the town
Jane signalled for me not to answer for fear of arrest
And told the young policeman in her glorious clipped tones
That we were off for a little trot as the day was rather gentle
And that was that the policeman smiled at Jane (or rather her chest)
He told her to have a lovely day totally ignoring me
And casually ran his hand through his golden mane
As he returned to his car still smiling shyly
We both spent a moment trying to take in what had happened
Country Ways
Jane
I said quietly
Country Ways