On the day before the match
I damaged my wrist
And was unable to play in the cup tie
My club did not have another goalkeeper
So my friend Polly offered her services
As she played in the local female leagues
The trouble was that I was very tall
Whereas Polly was rather short
I was unable to attend the game
As I was having treatment on my wrist
So I arranged to meet Polly in the evening
We chose The Goalkeepers Fear of the Penalty
Because it was a country pub and the beer was cheap
When I asked the score Polly said that we had lost 9-1
And that a number of the goals conceded
Were down to her height
As a gesture of thanks I invited Polly to an art gallery next day
As the endless wall was again being exhibited on the seafront