On the day before the match

I damaged my wrist

And was unable to play in the cup tie

My club did not have another goalkeeper

So my friend Polly offered her services

As she played in the local female leagues

The trouble was that I was very tall

Whereas Polly was rather short

I was unable to attend the game

As I was having treatment on my wrist

So I arranged to meet Polly in the evening

We chose The Goalkeepers Fear of the Penalty

Because it was a country pub and the beer was cheap

When I asked the score Polly said that we had lost 9-1

And that a number of the goals conceded

Were down to her height

As a gesture of thanks I invited Polly to an art gallery next day

As the endless wall was again being exhibited on the seafront