In the office all the girls were enchanted with Winifred’s snapshots taken during her visit to Laura Knight some weeks previously
How was Cornwall?
Heavenly we saw no rain at all which is unusual for Cornwall
Winifred showed her friends her photographs which had been carefully mounted in a pale blue album
This is me under a turquoise parasol wearing a strappy top and those slacks that I call my Oxford Bags
Did she paint you wearing these clothes?
No she had other ideas for the painting but she sketched me several times
This is me on the breakwater on the beach pointing at a fishing boat
You look very relaxed
What a darling smile
In truth it was very uncomfortable as the breakwater was very slippery and my swimming costume snagged a rusty nail which meant that the smile on my face was not the only one I possessed that afternoon
Did you feel ashamed?
No they were all in on the joke I only noticed the tear when I changed later that day
How beastly of them, poor Winifred
I got my own back on them all later on during the holiday I promise you
This is me sitting on the beach what you do not see were those pesky children who were throwing sand everywhere. I was still washing it out of my hair for days after I returned
This is elegant Winifred we were not far from Laura’s house. Unfortunately I became quite sqiffy and kicked my dream shoes into the sea and could not find them on my return
This is poor Winfred next to the fallen parasol.I was still quite sqiffy and Laura fed me a diet of strong coffee so that I would keep still when posing
This is me diving or trying to dive but as I mentioned the breakwater was quite treacherous and as I stood up I fell into the sea much to the alarm of the crabs
Are you hiding the special ones?
Do not be such a scoundrel Arthur I am a good girl
But you live in Maidenhead
Cookham actually
Do share them Winfred
If you are not quiet Alfred I will tell Miss Grice and then you will be in for the high jump
If you must see the results of my visit to Laura then you will have to go to the gallery where her painting now hangs
Alfred and Miss Grice sat at their desks eating their lunch. The office was empty and very quiet as the older woman did not say much to her younger colleagues
She suddenly spoke causing Alfred to raise his head from his newspaper
I think it is a bit much all the girls taking their lunch at the same time
They have all gone to the town gallery to see Laura Knight’s painting of Winifred
Why did you not go?
I went on Sunday do you want to see my photograph of the painting that I took when the attendants were not looking?
Arthur walked across the office towards the spinsters desk
Miss Grice looked at the young man’s snapshot
So this is our Winifred
Yes it is called The Apricot Girl and was painted on some rocks not far from the artist’s studio
I am surprised that she did not catch her early death
It is called art Miss Grice and you know how these artist types live don’t you all free love and sex and naked bodies
I do and I do not approve of it and am in the mind to have a few words with that young lady when she returns from lunch
Alfred returned to his desk and carefully deposited the photograph in his jacket pocket
And you should be ashamed for keeping as a memento a photograph of Winifred in such a lewd pose
Oh Dear, Oh Dear Oh Dear what would my late father ever thought of these goings on?
With thanks to Mr Punch