A few days ago I awoke one morning

With a strong feeling

That I wanted to be grounded in existence

Or the experience of existence

So I rang my best friend Ruth

And suggested that we might masturbate together

We had done this before facing each other

Naked in the box room which doubled as my study

I had always considered that I had a pretty cunt

Whereas Ruth’s reminded me of chopped liver

This said she had splendid breasts that put mine to shame

The problem was that as we reached the halfway point of our journey

My brother walked in as his football match had been cancelled

Bruce had no concept of the fundamentals of existentialism

As he was training to become a footballer-priest

Although Ruth was uneasy I insisted that we continue

My aim was to create an existential connection

And experience the experiences of existence

Just for Marty and Ruth

I planned later kill my brother for invading our space