Joe and Josie go to Cornwall


What are you smiling at Joe

The advert of my phone

Why is it funny

Not intentionally

It is an ad for the sleeper trains

To where

Cornwall

Paddington to Penzance

It is normally hell

I Know

Too crowded and those fucking trolley cases

But according to the ad this is different

Everything is nice

You do not normally like corporate ads

Too slick and up their own arse

This ad is no different

So why the humour

Because there is a comment

Which makes it more human

As the girl apologises to the locals

From fuck knows where

For flashing her boobs whilst having a wash at the sink

I always think of Calypso on sleeper trains

Asleep in her bunk with her enormous breasts

Moving with the motion of the train

What was the movie called

The Camomile Lawn

It was a television series Joe

You have a lot in common with Calypso

In what way

Do you not remember the camp site

What camp site

The site near St Ives

Yes I knew that you would bring that up

You became too warm as we were putting the tent up

And

You removed your sweater

And

You tee shirt came off too

And

You continued working totally unaware

That your Calypso’s were on display

I had to tell you

So what people go topless on the beaches

But this was a campsite in the middle of nowhere

We were offered tea by that nice young couple

The people from Stoke I believe were a little shocked

It was during that holiday that I learnt some Cornish

From postcards you lightweight

I wrote a series of poems in Cornish

And yes they were published blah blah blah

I watched the moon and thought of the moon landing

Forty years previously

The moon was singing to me

And you wrote a poem blah blah blah

You are being very objectionable today Josie

I can remember that the campsite owner said

How we resembled each other

You said we were identical twins

I think he was a little uncomfortable

Why

Because of our closeness

Of how when I start a sentence you finish it

You are also a very touchy person

So what

Are you going to book the sleeper for us then

Maybe

I will flash Taunton and maybe Truro if you are a good boy

Everything

Yes

Everything will cost you a cream tea Joe

Are you sure

I will buy you a coffee instead

Fuck you Joe

And some nibbles

Right I am wearing my pjs

The ones you hate

Then I will read

That is up to you

But can we visit Lands End again

You know the price Josie

I will simulate sex with a dalek

Really

What about a Yeti

You are my Yeti

Really I always thought I was K9