Gaby was involved in one of the most discussed incidents

Involving a reality show in the last few years

In short she was given a light sedative

And a large pig was laid next to her

She was unaware that she had been drugged

Neither was the pig

Both were naked

Gaby was naked as she had been paid extra

To appear nude frequently in the house

Whereas the pig received no fee

All the other housemates

Posed for photographs on the bed

Dressed as members of the Waffen-SS

I found this all rather amusing

But there was a great deal of fuss made

Mainly from animal lovers and numerous bitch groups

An emergency piece of legislation was rushed through

Which did not impress me at all

As I considered the colonial wars far more important

People were dying in the Third Universe

Some were even *****

Gaby is now much in demand and is being paid very well

She visits war zones weeping false tears

Whist cradling maimed and injured children

It is just to make us all feel involved

And absolved of our blind guilt

The unfortunate pig was slaughtered in August

And parts of it have been auctioned

For good causes ever since

I still have its head in my freezer