When I was thirteen I saw a movie at my local Odeon called Cul-de-sac which made a lasting impression on me

As soon as I returned home I tore my posters of revolutionary leaders from my bedroom walls and defecated on each in turn

Starting with Mao and ending with Che

A week later I left for France a stowaway on a ferry and for the next four years searched every beach and sand dune for Francoise

But my searches were in vain and I returned to England on the eve of my eighteenth birthday

Shortly after I secured a job in Athena where I soon started stealing their posters of revolutionary leaders