Joe

Hi Mike long time no see

Are you good

Very good

Mary and I have just made it to one year

Wow

Josie

Josie is just Josie

I would not want her to change

Is she still fucking Rachel

Yep it is a great pash

Are you jealous

Whatever for

Because

Because we are incestuous

Sorry Joe

No need to apologise mate

Even if she was my wife I do not own her

You are such a liberal

Do not swear at me

Joe have you been reading the newspapers

Yes

Have you read about that stupid law that has been passed in Scotland

Which one

The trams one

No worse

Is there anything worse

Yes

Boys are Us

Worse

It is the new hate law passed by that tanned man of the glens

It is crazy really crazy and the cops have given up solving crimes

So that they can chase and arrest innocent name callers

What is a hate crime Joe

If I punched you on the nose for no reason Mike then technically that is a hate crime

I thumped you because you fucked me off

In theory I foolishly hated you

What would the cops do

Fuck all as normal

But if I hit you and called you a Ginger Cunt

I am a Ginger Cunt

Then I am committing a hate crime

This said if I hit you and called you a cunt

Then the whole theatre changes

The definition rests usually one word

That is how crazy the law is

If I was a comedian on stage and made a joke

Why do niggers wear baggy trousers

Why do niggers wear baggy trousers Joe

Because their knee grows

I do not get the joke Joe

Think about it

But that is not my point

As technically I am being hateful

An innocent and rather funny joke

Is a hateful joke

The same is if I said that the trans perverts are not women

Or that men have cocks and women have cunts

Fact Fact Fact

It is an obvious fact that has been recognised for years

A man in a dress is a pervert

A dog is not a cat

It is that simple

But this is denied by those who wish to divide opinions

It is a classic way of causing fragmentation

This new law is in my view even crazier than the previous Wee Jimmy nonsense

If you look there are many prominent people in Scotland asking the idiot cops to arrest them as technically they are committing a hate crime

It is so Kafka so very Kafka

Kafka

Remember Gregor

Gregor

You have lost me Joe

Go back to the Famous Five mate

Like most things there is an underlying motive

That being

Race

Empire

History

White Privilege

You name it

You cannot change history Joe

I am aware of that

I never thought that I would see a time when England Wales and Scotland would be run by people who were not exactly born in Bognor Regis

It is all rather odd and in a way quite sinister

This said if you are good enough for the job then I am colourblind

It is the maths that bother me as in the UK there are 00000 white people but we have managed to elect three tanned people

Although a mathematical possibility this is almost impossible

We live in democracy Joe

Democracy is a dangerous word mate

Does it really exist

Think about that

Fancy a drink

Yep

You are paying you ginger cunt

I am also gay Joe

You are paying you gay ginger cunt

Right I am going to report you

You will never find a cop mate

Not in this town

Fuck knows what they do with their time

They are not fit for purpose

I agree

Joe & Mike (Prison Diaries)

What is your cell like Joe

It is okay as cells go

Your cell

I like the Sky TV

Mate I did not know that you were a faggot

What does Mary say

Mary is a six foot six bloke

Really

Yep

Mike may I ask you question

Go ahead

Why does a shitty diseased anus attract you more than a wet perfumed cunt

That is a hate crime Joe

We often wear dresses together

Sick

I like blue

Mary likes pink

And it is totally legal

You are committing incest Joe and that is illegal

Your children will be born with two heads

Or will join the Labour Party

Mike I have asked the prison visitor to give you two books by Kafka

Is that is the chap that you keep going on about

The same

Thanks mate

What are you reading

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov I studied it at Cambridge

Where did you find it

In the perverts bogs

The pages are a bit damp but they are drying out in the sun nicely

Whose book is it

Fuck knows

But I was told that prison governor uses the facility at times

That says it all mate