Gulls are known to travel many miles inland
To play chess and other board games
They were seen at the recent society wedding
Of Lucy Pargetter to Robbie Rob Ellis
Held in a small church near Stonehouse in Gloucestershire
Which had been much changed by its 1854 restoration
Financed in full by Lucy’s Great Great Great Uncle Robbie Rob
Whose fortune had been made from sugar and other related sweetners
A fact that was unknown to many of the guests present
Was that Lucy was actually gay and had been married to her partner Sal Sal for many years
In the eyes of the law this was a bigamous union
But then again the law is an ass
A friend on a treadmill once told me this
The gulls knew of this deception
But did not care
As they had read studies that indicated that most women were at the least bisexual
If not fully lesbian
Gulls do not suffer from gender confusion
Which they find refreshing
But they do become agitated
When new board games are produced
And sold on the high street
Without their authority