Hi All
Silly Boy here
Girlfriends they are so overrated
I met a girl named Meryl
The other day
She was from Stoke
I like girls from Stoke
Meryl thought I was the best thing
She had seen since her cat
Visited its flat mate on the A4
I told her that I was hung like a digger
And things progressed from there
Until Shag Time raised its ugly head
She did warn me beforehand
I am on the Rag she said
Which I thought was unkind
As I had purchased
Egyptian Cotton Sheets
Especially for the occasion
As we undressed there was a pungent smell
Which I put down to a dead neighbour
Meryl insisted on shagging in the dark
And I am ashamed to say
That I shagged my own pillow
For twenty minutes
Before it exploded beneath me
Long story short
It was like shagging a treacle pudding
But take away the smell and the crumbs
And Silly Boy had a nice time
I asked for oral sex
So we spent our afterglow
Chatting about sexual positions
I was fond of the doggie one
Although Meryl preferred
The soixante neuf
We fell asleep in each others arms
Mine was from the twelfth century
Meryl’s was from the First Crusade
And then it happened
I woke up
Meryl was no longer with me
I looked down and screamed
As my willy was no longer there
There was nothing but blood
From my knees to my chest
Mummy came in with coffee
She called an ambulance
Who is my maternal aunt
I was taken to St Jude’s
It was so so embarrassing
They hunted high and low
For my lost dick
It was not in my crisp packet
They even checked Meryl out
But it was not there
It was not until I showered
With one of the illegal porters
That they found it
It was where it had always been
The head nurse said
That she had seen bigger dicks
On mutilated grasshoppers
I now have mental health problems
And am prone to self abuse
Which is strictly prohibited
As it makes one blind
Meryl is still my girlfriend
We pick primroses together
And collect for –
That is enough my friends
It hurts too much
As Meryl has told me
That her men o pause is dew
This has confused me
As men still walk past her
Without incurring any inhibition
This may be my last post
Silly Boy is Sad