To all my friends 

A question 

How many of you masturbate at work 

A quick trip to the gender friendly bogs 

The Pleasure Palace awaits 

But do clean up the mess 

As the tiled floors 

Can be slippery and dangerous 

A recent survey noted 

That over 40% of employees 

Masturbate at work 

10% in meetings 

And 7% in their 121s 

The split is roughly 70/30 

 (make up your own mind) 

Senior Managers are more likely 

To masturbate at work 

Hence their job titles 

I am a train driver 

And masturbating at work 

Is explicitly banned 

As the cum goes all over 

The windows of the cab 

And obscures signals at danger 

I am striking with my comrades 

During the next month 

Because of this infringement 

Of our hard won freedoms  

Somebody suggested female train drivers 

But they often get hopelessly lost 

The Euston to Glasgow express 

Ended up in Truro last week

As the driver was on the rag 

Which occupied her spare hand

Thank you for giving me the opportunity 

To discuss this taboo subject 

And remember

Always wash your hands 

As others use 

The coffee machines 

After you

Just a little tip my friends 

Silly Boy  xxx