Joe poor Joe I was so sorry that you have suffered a petit mal
You poor darling
Thank you for your grace Grace
But it was not a petit mal as I often stare into space
I was suffering from a virus an infection gained from those dark of skin
And ended up in distress near Virginia’s bench
Darling fair Josie rescued me and I spent the rest of the afternoon bedded against her perfect breasts
You are always welcome to sleep on my considerably larger breasts but I know that you are honourable towards Josephine
Please accept this likeness of me unclothed as a gesture of our friendship
Thank you as Josie and I still have a problem with flies in the summer
I hear that you have been working on an account of George Dymock’s life
Your sources are correct
What fascinates you about this man
I first came across him at Kings as he was the only poet that I know who drowned in a street puddle
That is interesting
He was in Deptford near where poor Marlowe died when he stumbled out of an inn and fell into a puddle
George was full of ale as were his friends and he drowned face down
What a pointless death
I agree
He died in February 1685 on the same day as Charles the Second
You mother told me that when you were very young that you saw the ghost of Charles the Second on the landing of your home
That is indeed true as I was suffering an episode
What did you do
I hid under my blankets and considered Catholicism
I have never read much of George’s poetry
A great deal of it was either banned or suppressed
He was like the Earl of Rochester and fucked many women
Is it true that George once fucked his own daughter and later married his own granddaughter
Indirectly
The story is that when he was studying at Oxford he met a woman aged between thirty-five and forty who had been neglected by her soldier husband
Her childless womb was ageing faster than her features
She feared the barren years and was determined not to die childless
I can guess what happened
And you would be correct but there was a carousel
Meaning
The woman on her husbands last period of leave brought a fair maid into their bed
After years of conflict her husband was tired in mind and body
But he still managed to fuck them both
Which was the excuse for the woman to seek child
Shortly afterwards she met George whose raven looks (he was from an Italian lineage) attracted her greatly
She seduced him on the spot and long story short she was soon with child
Her empty womb now carried a child
Was there a happy ending
Yes and no
Explain
Her husband was killed in battle about six months later
And she was looked after by her family
In a way poor George did not stand a chance
He was oblivious of his daughter
And carried on writing poetry and plays and generally fucking his way through all the fair maidens in London
He made it a rule that he only deflowered virgins as they were pure and he would not be infected
Sensible
Many years passed
George was sent down from Oxford for satirising the King
He drifted around Europe and was celebrated there
But not in England as he was seen as something of a rake
The story of how he ended up fucking his own daughter is so absurd as it lacks credibility
I am all ears Joe
I would say that you are all breasts Erica
Wicked Joe
I will tell Josie
She would not care
We have an open relationship
I am the one who keeps my door locked
It is safer that way
You are so pure Joe
Please return to your fascinating tale
It is true and has been documented by others
Go on
George although liking Europe had become attached to some unsavoury characters
And was accused of being a spy
Time to fuck off I think
He came back to England and laid low as he was still not trusted
I break the story here as the older woman who he impregnated had remarried after her husbands death
A rich merchant from Oxford who was looking for companionship changed her life
She lived in a great house and for the first time in her life was very happy as she also had a fair daughter who had inherited her fathers raven beauty
Sadly Alice was very spoilt and wanted for nothing
Her mother knew this and almost kept her under lock and key
This frustrated Alice who in the absence of men began to favour other girls
A harmless occupation as you well know
But soon her mother became feeble of mind
It was probably syphilis gained from her husband who had died a couple of years previously
This is all that was recorded about her mother apart from an entry in Will Smith’s Diary which was published in 1850
He was a friend of the family and noted that whilst Alice was quite wild and considered herself to be a poet and an artist she was really quite untalented
But she was very beautiful and knew it well
What he recorded about her mother is rather disturbing as although she appeared feeble of mind she did have lucid moments and was shocked when George was invited to the house by Alice because of his reputation as a dissolute poet
It seems from Will’s description that the mother had something similar to what we might now call a locked in syndrome
It is not clear but this is a possibility
George although senior to Alice was a very attractive man
Two ravens met and the obvious happened
It is said such was Alice’s spite that they fucked in front of the mother in her bed chamber
Whether this is true is open to question
Two things then happened firstly Alice became heavy with child and secondly George was arrested as he was implicated in a plot against the King
Charles actually liked George as he saw a lot of himself in the poet so instead of being executed he was exiled
Even though Charles did not believe the accusations for a minute he had to be seen not to favour his friend
George ended up in Catholic Spain and was granted a secret allowance by the King
Although history does not confirm this in any way it is thought that he was employed as a spy
What about the mother Joe
There are only a few records to go from but it is thought that the shock of George fucking his own daughter killed her
She died from shock in the abyss of her own memories
What became of Alice
She married well and brought her daughter up (also named Alice) in some splendour
And then Alice disappeared from history
I can find no records of her fate
Unlike her mother and grandmother Alice was a gentle and very religious creature
She was much liked especially by Charles and Catherine
And this is where things become strange as I have already noted that Charles rather liked George and when he heard that George had been badly injured during a sword fight in Seville
He invited him back to England to recover from his wounds and granted him a residence not far from Wallingford
Although George had aged he was very fit for his years as he did not drink heavily indeed his only vice was fucking virgins
He had also retained his looks
Catherine thought that it would be a good idea if Alice was sent to ensure that George made a complete recovery
Charles knew that not even George would not insult him by seducing Alice
In time George and Alice grew very close and she even let him bathe her
He often sketched her quite naked in the garden of the house
For the first time in his licentious life George fell in love
He was besotted with his pure nurse
He asked the King for permission to marry Alice which was granted
A year later George and Alice were married and soon had a baby girl that they named Catherine after the Queen
The Virgins of England were now safe once again
That is an incredible story are you sure it is true
It is very true and was well known for many years until the Victorians censored it
George’s life was cleaned up and he was presented as a heroic poet spy who died in an unfortunate accident
Little did they know that he was probably the only poet in history who fucked his own daughter and granddaughter after fucking the mother
Who was also the grandmother of the second Alice
I agree it was all rather complicated
Even George was not aware of this during his lifetime
And the second Alice
I doubt it as she and Catherine lived long and happy lives
What do you think of George’s poetry
It is really rather good the equal of Rochester
I would like to read some of their poetry
And so you will
When Josie and I next visit you
I will gift you two books
Joe & George