I complained to that fella
About my umbrella
And he told me to speak to
A dead fruit seller
Who sold me a ticket
And proceeded to click it
In a most aggressive way

These are some examples of the lazy staccato rhyme that I wrote whilst travelling from Dartmouth to Brixham in South Devon

As forecast the day was foul with heavy belts of rain causing localised flooding

My friend Peter Paul Pawcett in attempting to take a photograph of his rosy friend a girl named Rosie lost his umbrella to the violent winds

It was believed that these winds were fully to blame

But I knew that the river had had a hand in its destruction

The bus journey was agreeable

Although the bus driver took a wrong turn as he had developed an obsession with Rosie’s breasts

Rosie always went topless during rainy weather to stop her shirts from shrinking

The visit to the small fishing town was nothing short of a disaster as Peter Paul Pawcett and Rosie were continually in battle with the elements

They stopped for a coffee after buying some wool but cut their visit short as they both had become chilled

Figurehead Mary
Was the name of the ferry
That crossed the river wild
I was one of a number
Who took it to blunder
On that foul and awful day
Behind a mouse
Inside her house
Francesca hid away      

Francesca was Rosie’s real name and to this day I am not sure who travelled with Peter Paul Pawcett to Brixham on that long forgotten day