I have always enjoyed running down hills

Steep or shallow it is of little concern

I prefer this to running on level surfaces

Which can be tedious and rather uninspiring

I enjoy the zen of any descent

As it gives me a sense of flight

Two years ago I suffered an accident

I twisted my ankle rather badly

As a level footpath was quite uneven

This was reported to the authorities

But they claimed that it was quite safe

Which was absolute and utter rubbish

I went to their plush offices

Not seeking an advantage

But to ensure safety for others

They treated me as if I was a complete idiot

I am sad to say that I lost my temper

And smashed the glass of an internal door

An arrest followed and I was charged

With criminal damage followed by a fine

I accused the magistrate of being anti Semitic

As apart from being an identical twin

I had Jewish blood running through my veins

He was also fucking his own daughter

Which I found disgusting offensive and foul