Hi Joe

I am missing you so much

And feel so ashamed

Josie has disgraced herself

It just seemed to hit me

I had been so happy on the beach

But began to feel guilty about being so happy

And then Stella entered my life

Stella the Fucking Bitch

She seduced me and soon I was completely pissed

Running around Cannes sharing my favourite Sappho poem

With anybody who cared

It seemed that I needed a high

It was the pain that made me do this

I had thoughts that I could not deal with

You would have called it my abyss

Perhaps you are right

For a while I loathed who I was

It was not about us

It was never about us

I know that you will understand

You always understand

We are joined at the hip

Perhaps when I am back we should chat about what happened

As I am scared that it might reoccur

It overwhelms me

I am drowning whilst watching myself drown

Marie-Claude has helped me so much

Although she is a girl of few words (almost shy)

I feel that she might have travelled along the same road

As she seems to second guess me at times

I also love her wife who is just lovely

I am so looking forward to seeing Vence

Do you realise that DH Lawrence died there in 1930

(obviously you will know that)

I wonder if there is anything to remember him by

As we quite easily found Dear Vincent in Arles

Thank you so much for that Mummy thing

In reflection telling the truth was the best idea

We are actually leaving tomorrow

So by the time we chat again I will be in Vence

Seriously I feel better now and do assure Cora that I am okay

I am going to visit the beach in a few minutes

Just to watch the sun slowly set

There are clouds hanging like spacecraft over the hills

The air is cooler but it is so beautiful here

Unless we happen to chat later

I look forward to describing Josie’s Vence to you

I loved your latest poems I really loved them

Your brush never seems to fade

I Love You Joe

I seriously love you

Josie xxx