I have an irrational fear of flying

Even though I have flown

On many occasions here and there

There is no reason for this

I blame my physics master Mr Webb

Who when asked a question at St Polly’s

Demonstrated the theory of flying

Using a sheet of foolscap paper

Great but planes are not made of paper

And are heavy creatures weighing some tons

It is not so much the flying I hate

But hitting the ground hard and being roasted alive

I am okay on high speed trains as I understand them

(Josie does not like super fast trains)

I am okay on ships as I am a decent swimmer

(Josie loves the sea but not the fish beneath)

I am a bit iffy in cars when they are on motorways

But am usually quite relaxed at lower speeds

My fear of flying pisses Josie off as she loves flying

She thinks I am a six foot wimp who writes poetry

I will fly if I have to fly but will worry about it for weeks

When I leave I tend to look at my bed and wonder

If we will ever share my intimate dreams again

My pillow will remain where my pillow exists

Nothing will change unless the cat sleeps on it

Whereas I will be bombing through the clouds

Thousands of feet above fuck knows where

It is then that I wonder if I will return safely


Joe