Whilst on a winding summer road

Jane and I stumbled upon a Festival of Jam

We thought it might be jazz based

But we were wrong

As it was a Jam Festival

With hundreds of jars of jam

Made from all fruits and even concrete

I purchased a jar of Concrete Jam

Which was rather good on toast


Audrey I see you are making jam again

I have never stopped

You did not attended our annual festival

We all thought you had died

The Reverend Dodgson was most upset

No such luck

I was inside

Inside

I was in prison

Heavens Why

You are a pillar of the community

Did you murder Harold

No I was caught making Ginger Marmalade

By the Clerk of the Council

What

Yes I weakened Myrtle

But I have learnt my lesson

These jars of yours Audrey

I trust they are not marmalade

Then you would be right

Not even Revolutionary Marmalade

It is Pineapple Jam Myrtle

Just plain old Pineapple Jam

You named it after me

How sweet you are

What is it made from

Oranges Concrete

And a touch of Arsenic