What was your first job Joe
I think it was that of a paperboy
Really
Yes because I could be trusted
Son of a vicar and all that
I bet it was hard
I only tended to do the round
When I was on hols
Slave labour
I did not get paid
What
Daddy saw it as giving something back to the community
I would have put my foot down
But it did have its bonus moments
Explain
The daughter of the mayor was the most beautiful girl in the village
And purely by chance and because I am very light on my feet
I saw her quite naked in her bedroom
Did it excite you
I knew then that God existed
Especially as later in my round I came off of my bike on Cottle’s Hill
Were you hurt
No although the handlebar caught me in the nuts
You
When I was in my first year at Kings
Mummy insisted that as a girl with all the gifts
That I should learn the value of money
As life was not just summers on the Cam
She fixed me up with one of my fathers friends
Oliver Power
Is that the estate agents
Right in one
From the first time I walked through the door
I did not like him as he was all surface
He also treated me as a piece of meat
He was forever looking at my boobs
And just loved my bum
This did not really bother me as I was used to it
After all I was rather nice to look at
You brush up well
Fuck you
Well carrying on I put up with it until the day I was late back from lunch
I had met my old school pal Robyn who was down from Oxford
This was not the first time I had been late back from lunch
I just pretended to be blonde and fluffy
That always worked
But on this day Head Office were down and as I walked through the door Oliver took me aside and in a voice to be heard asked me why I was late back
This embarrassed me
I began to blush
And then I got angry
I looked around the office and then in a very sweet girly voice
Said I was late because I had been jacking off adding that hot weather made me so fucking horny
Go on
Nothing happened I went back to my desk and got on with things
That was until the bosses went
I was sacked on the spot
Did it upset ewe
Not in a bit
I just collected my bag and left forever planning to ask Frankie to put dogs shit through the letterbox that evening
The bastard actually rang mummy even before I got home
I knew that she was cross with me
Mummy gets very formal when she is cross
When Daddy returned she took him aside
What happened
Daddy increased my allowance and said that if I did not want to work during my hols then I did not need to do so
What did your mother say
Not much but I knew she was pissed with me
In certain ways you are very like me
Really
Three strikes and out
Do you realise that when we have children I would never expect them to work if they did not want to do so
Children
Oh fucketty fuck
I have never learnt how to close doors
Memo to self
Ask Josie for her thoughts and direction