I tell you Margate appears in a number of books of poetry

Thomas Gray once wrote a poem about a visit to Margate

Tom and Katie were sitting on Margate beach

It was a hot day and they were surrounded by people

Yet to them the beach seemed empty

What was the title of the Thomas Gray poem?

Do you really want to know?

Yes please

Why are you wearing a yellow bikini?

Because it is a hot day

Why did you choose the colour yellow?

Because it is a hot day

According to my phone it is thirty-two degrees

Why did you choose the colour yellow?

Because it is the colour of the sun

The sun might be a different colour altogether

It might be red after all the sky is not blue

Pretty joined them she had been swimming

I thought you were in Japan

No I returned months ago

I was not aware of that

You woke up next to me this morning

I slept alone

Katie looked at Tom and Pretty

I do not know why you are discussing this I woke up next to Tom

No Katie you woke up next to me

The name of the Thomas Gray poem was

On L(or)d H(olland’)s Seat near M(argat)e, K(en)t

That is something of a mouthful Tom

I agree

Do you know the poem?

Only parts of it

Why are you wearing a pale blue bikini Pretty?

Because it is the colour of the sky

The sky is colourless

Old and abandoned by each venal friend

Here H(olland)took the pious resolution

To smuggle some few years and strive to mend

A broken character and constitution

On this congenial spot he fixed his choice

Earl Godwin for his neighbouring sand

Here seagulls scream and cormorants rejoice

And mariners though shipwrecked dread to land

Here reign the blustering North and blighting East

Tom pulled a book from his beach bag

Is that all Tom?

No the poem is much longer than that

So Earl Goodwin lived near Margate

It appears so

Were the sands named after him?

No they are actually called the Goodwin Sands

Was it a corruption of his name?

I am not aware of that fact

Pretty looked at the crowded beach

Fancy a swim Katie?

Why are you wearing a pale blue bikini Pretty?

I am naked Katie you are imagining my bikini

Then why are you not attracting attention? 

Because I am wearing a pale blue bikini

What am I wearing?

You are dressed as a beatnik

A trifle hot for the beach

After all it is over ninety degrees today

I suggest and join me for a swim

I am wearing a yellow bikini?

Your bikini is pale blue

Katie and Pretty ran into the sea

They were both naked

Tom looked at himself in a mirror

He too was naked

For an instant he felt Thomas Gray looking at him

The beach is empty Tom

It is full to capacity Tom and I am naked

You are not in Margate Tom

Of course I am

You are not on my honour

Then where am I ?

Katie and Pretty ran across the beach

Who were you speaking to Tom?

Thomas Gray

What were you discussing?

Margate

We are not in Margate

We are in Margate look at the clock and the gallery of art

We are in Margate

Katie are we in Margate?

No

Why are you naked Tom?

I am not naked I am wearing navy blue shorts and a white cotton shirt

You are naked Tom I would recognise your dick anywhere

You have never seen my penis

I woke up next to it this morning

You fucked me do you not remember?

I slept alone

Katie looked at Tom and Pretty

I do not know why you are discussing this I woke up next to Tom

No Katie you woke up next to me

Then who fucked me this morning

Katie smiled

It is obvious is it not?

No not to me

You were fucked by Margate AAA

But we are not in Margate

We are in Margate the poet was incorrect

Tom looked at Pretty and Katie

Am I naked?

No you are wearing navy blue shorts and a white cotton shirt

Am I naked?

No you are wearing a yellow bikini

What about me am I naked?

No you are wearing a pale blue bikini

I fear that the poet is playing games with us

Pretty picked up Tom’s book

Why are reading this Tom?

Because it features Margate between its covers

What is the title of the book?

It is of little importance

How does Margate feature in the book?

Katie noticed Arthur Wilcockson on the promenade

Arthur!

Arthur we are over here

Pretty is wearing a red bikini and I am wearing a green one   

Tom is wearing navy blue shorts and a white cotton shirt but thinks he is naked

Arthur strolled across the busy beach towards them

It is so nice to see you I did not know you were in town

I am not in town I am in Margate

I am seeking a young lady who has lied to me

She has not answered my correspondence

What was her lie?

I fear she has lied in front of the Lord

What will you say to her?

I will collect shells on the beach with her and explain her sin

God will ensure that the shells are plenty

Oh Superman

Oh Superman