David Bowie

I dreamt about David Bowie last night

That was nice for you

I dreamt that he had agreed to attend our jumble sale and that you and all the girls were amazed that I had managed to persuade this mega star to come to our girls event

I dreamt that you and Anaka were bitching about me

Lesbians always bitch about each other

You were bitching about my fat arse

You do have a fat arse

I know but I said there was no need to bitch about it

I do not discuss your arse with Anaka

Well I became angry with you both and stormed out

Where did you go?

To the Green Club

It was a David Bowie themed evening

Well to get back to my dream

Fuck you Simonetta

Well to get back to my dream

 Fuck you Simonetta

Well to get back to my dream

In my dream Mr Bowie was in a darkened room with his small entourage

He was signing autographs

But had insisted that the lights be dimmed

It was then that I guessed the truth

What was the truth?

That he was dying

What happened then?

I tried to see his face but was unable to as the light was so poor

He signed his autograph

To Simonetta you have always cared more for the community than about yourself – You will always be much loved – David

What did you do?

I tried to speak to him but found myself sorting out the jumble in the main hall

And then?

My dream ended

 

The Black Dahlia

Do you remember the last movie we saw?

Not really as we see so many

It was called The Black Dahlia

Oh yes I remember you have had the hots for Scarlett Johansson ever since

You liked the movie also

I also have the hots for Scarlett Johansson as you well know

I think most girls would like to bed Scarlett Johansson

Well it set me thinking about the true murder

I wondered if there had been photographs taken at the crime scene

And were there photographs?

Yes there were a few

Were they horrible?

Yes and no

Well the poor girl had been cut in half and she had been horribly violated

We you not sick?

I was appalled at the violence that had been inflicted on the poor girl

But it was the position of her arms that haunted me

The position of her arms?

It was almost as if she was lying in a cornfield in Kansas looking at the sky

But she was dead she had been horribly murdered by a sick psycho

I know?

Why Kansas?

It was the first state that I thought of

Are there cornfields in Kansas?

I do not know I would imagine that there are cornfields in Kansas

In the photograph there is a LAPD detective looking at her remains

Go on

I thought about him also

This man most likely had a family and at the end of that horrible day he would have returned to them

Elizabeth would have been lying on a mortuary slab in two pieces and this nameless detective would be sharing a meal with his family

It was all part of the job he is likely to have seen far worse

Worse than an innocent girl from Boston cut in two and posed grotesquely

He most likely to have come across rotting bodies in forgotten apartments and the like

How could he have eaten a meal that evening?

He might have just got drunk you know

Maybe

We will never know will we?

 

The Love Girl and the Innocent

Do you think that God approves of us?

I do not think he cares

God cares about us all

Do you think that we piss him off with our lifestyle?

I have never really thought about it

A lot of it is about friendship you know that is where men get it wrong

They just see us fucking together and it just fuels their fantasies

Before you I had met girls who were not just right for me so I helped them to become attached to another girls

So have I we are all sisters together

That is an awful cliché

It is not a cliché

I like the directness that exists between lesbians

That is because we are all girls

That is another cliché you are speaking in clichés today

Fuck you

Fuck you

Do you know that lesbians share many common tastes?

I thought that would be obvious

That is a limited answer I am surprised at you Simonetta

I mean outside of the physical and the emotional

Do you remember the day when you came out?

I did not come out

I always knew where I was going

I liked the company of men but found women more attractive

Well you know my story

My parents did not accept that I as gay and I had to hide my love letters from Rosetta in a book

What was the book called?

Well it was not exactly a book it was play by Aleksander Solzhenitsyn called The Love Girl and the Innocent

Were you the innocent?

No I was the love girl

I was engaged to Jeffrey and we were fucking all the time but I was also sharing by bed with Rosetta

Who was the innocent then?

Jeffrey obviously he did not have a clue that I was gay and when the truth came out there was hell to pay

I was asked to leave my home

And Jeffrey?

He got over it

He is married to Lauren now and they have a kid but mark my word she will stray some day

I know her she is not gay but she will not settle for his tepid domesticity

I have known her for years

And Jeffrey poor Jeffrey will always be the innocent

He will get so far in his profession and then he will stop

Younger less able men will pass him but he will not resent their travel

He will just accept it

 

Aaron the Dog interviews Detective Lee

What are you writing?

I am writing a story

What is it about?

It is about Aaron the Dog interviewing Detective Lee on the day of his retirement

They have lived opposite each other for years

But have never really spoken

Apart from exchanging the time of day

Why has Detective Lee retired?

I don’t know I have not reached that stage of the story

Has he reached the statutory retirement age?

He is forty-five

He has taken early retirement

Why has he had enough?

He witnessed the Kennedy assassination

Does he know who was responsible and has retired so that he may go undercover?

I don’t know I have not reached that stage of the story

Do you know that Rosetta had the hots for Jackie Kennedy?

No

She also had some naked paparazzi photos of Jackie that she had cut from a magazine

Jackie was never papped

She was in the 1970s

She was married to Onassis and was on their private island when she was photographed

As if the security was that lax

It was

She was well and truly papped

The First Lady’s bush appeared in a number of magazines

I bet it pissed her off

It did

What happened?

I am not really sure there was a fuss of course but I read somewhere that Onassis found the whole thing rather funny

What did you do?

Nothing I just returned the cuttings to the book and did not mention it

It was her own private fantasy why should I intrude?

There is a movie out about Jackie at the cinema

I know

Some of my friends have seen it

Did they enjoy the movie?

I have not asked them

I suspect it was because of Natalie Portman

She is too skinny for me too boyish

I think she is quite pretty

Is she your type?

What is my type?

That is what I was asking

You are my type

That is a coward’s answer

About your story what happens?

You stole those photographs of Jackie

I did not

You did I always know when you are lying

How

You clench your fists as you are doing now

I did not steal the cuttings

I just gave away the book to a charity shop

And you did not remove Jackie’s naked pics

What did Rosetta say?

She did not say anything

That was when I realised that we would not be together for long

Why?

Because there were parts of her that I did not know

There are parts of me you do not know

You are an open book Simonetta

No I am not

You are I know you inside and out

You don’t

Why do you say that?

Because I gave your book away

Which book

The Matisse

And I did not remove the naked Jackie cuttings

Why did you do that?

Because I wanted to know you more deeply