The room was filled with small grey monitors and for a small charge one could watch anything that was not illegal
Two men of Middle Eastern appearance were chatting to their wives and kissing the screen when their children appeared with their toys
That is where I found Laura sitting in front of monitor four watching grainy film of a long forgotten war
She was pleased to see me
Carlos how nice it is to see you
You requested that I come
I did not think that you would come
How long has it been?
Five years
What are you doing?
I am watching footage of the Spanish Civil War
Why?
I am trying to find my brother
Your brother?
Yes
But the war ended nearly eighty years ago
I am aware of that
You are too young to have a brother who fought in the Spanish Civil War
Perhaps your grandfather
My brother was a poet
They were all poets
Laura touched the mouse and froze a busy monochrome image on the small screen
See I think that is him
The image showed a fresh faced boy of about nineteen smiling at the camera
His face was tired and dirty but this did hinder his youthful appearance
He was called Carlos like you
Perhaps you were named after him
I never knew your brother
He would have liked you as you are very alike
Perhaps
Why are you viewing this footage?
I want to know what happened to him
What do you know?
That he disappeared during the Spanish Civil War
Do you know where?
No
That’s a pity we might have been able to make enquiries in the area
Those who were children then are old people now
I am going to steal this disc would you help me
How?
Just distract the receptionist while I slip it in my bag
Then what
We will spend another fifteen minutes here looking at stock footage of the war
She will suspect nothing
I am not exactly friendly with the cops you know
It will not come to that
I walked across to the receptionist and asked her whether they had any material on Tibet
It was the first thing that came into my head
As she turned her back I saw Laura hide the disc in her straw bag
To my surprise where was little on Tibet
I sat in front of monitor one and watched footage of a festival in Northern Tibet
After fifteen minutes Laura left
I stayed for another ten minutes
Laura was in the coffee shop opposite the library
She gestured for me to join her
See they did not suspect a thing I often steal from there
Why?
So that I may watch the discs in the peace of my apartment
So you still share with Maria?
Yes
I hardly know her she is such a shy girl
She is not shy when you get to know her
Do want to come back to my apartment?
I thought you would never ask
Fool
Are you spoken for?
Yes
Pity I like your birthmark
Who is the lucky man?
Maria
Maria?
Yes we were joined in marriage in October
I thought you liked men?
I do
We had good times
Very good times
But I did not love you
I adored you but I did not love you
What did your parents think?
They approved of my relationship they just wanted happiness for me
Do they know about your search?
No
Why have you not told them?
Because it would cause them pain
They have never got over the loss of Carlos that is why they treasure Maria and I to such an extent
The apartment which was in the centre of Madrid was simply furnished
It was on the third floor and had partial views over a small park
I often watch people in the park from this window
I imagine their lives
When will Maria be back?
In an hour
You wanted me to watch the footage with you again
My computer is in the study
Would you just watch the footage again and tell me how many times you see Carlos
Also see if you can see where it was shot
Road signs churches anything
The geography of the hills
Even the geography of the hills
I will prepare refreshments
I watched the short film twice whilst Laura was in the kitchen
The boy who was Carlos only appeared twice in the film
Initially he was cleaning his rifle
On the second occasion he was passing the camera
There were no clues as to the location of the gathering
I knew that if I guessed I would be wrong
When were you released?
Three months ago
How long did you get?
Three years but I was out after two
The sentence was stiff
It was not my first offence
How do you feel about it?
Wasted
Wasted I was a fool
It was quick money
I have a lot of debts
My father is not rich
Neither is mine
Do not shout at me but surely he must have helped you with this apartment
Yes he did as a wedding gift
Then your father is rich
Still the same Carlos
Poor Laura poor rich Laura
Laura playfully slapped my face and as she did so the doorbell rang
That must be Maria she has forgotten her key again
I will let her know that I have a visitor
Whilst Laura had not changed greatly Maria seemed more groomed than I had remembered her
She kissed me lightly on the cheek but I still sensed her shyness
Carlos helped me steal a disc from the library
Carlos risked prison for me
Bravo Carlos
Laura and Maria embraced tenderly
I tried not to watch them as I felt a little awkward
See we are shocking Carlos
Up to recently Carlos only had male company it will take Carlos a while to adjust
What did they lock you up for?
Maria!
Drugs
Are you clean?
I do not do drugs I only distributed them
In Madrid?
No in the Cordoba area
Let me look at your arms
I rolled up my shirtsleeve and showed Maria my pale arm
She smiled but I could sense a subtle jealousy
See no needle marks
You?
I take everything my body is like a dartboard
I still have my contacts
You are not so shy now
That is because I am married as you can see
Are you shocked?
As long as you are both happy
I stayed the night at the apartment but any thoughts of a sexual nature were dispelled when Laura and Maria attended a pop concert in the evening
Laura apologised profusely to me but they only had two tickets
Maria who was still slightly hostile thought that their hospitality was gratitude enough as to tell the truth I did not really have anywhere else to stay
I was staying with my sister but this was not a long term solution
After Laura and Maria had left I returned to their study and began to look at the discs of the Spanish Civil War
I also found some personal material but resisted the temptation to watch these private discs
There were seventeen discs in all
Some were only minutes long and others lasted well over an hour
Most of it was stock footage shot with a hand held cameras
Two of the discs contained newsreel footage and were quite graphic
Laura came into my bedroom at about nine in the morning with a cup of coffee
She was fully dressed and appeared to have been out whilst I was still sleeping
Coffee
Thank you
What time did you retire?
About two you were not home
We went to a party
Laura sat on the end of my bed as I sipped my coffee
All the discs
All the war ones
Did you watch any of the other discs?
No
Liar
I am an honourable man
An honourable drug dealer
Laura laughed
I do not mind if you watch them
What about Maria she does not care for me
She does
She sees me as a threat
You are no threat
I am an honourable man
That is why we make them
For people to watch
It is all part of the fun
You asked me for my help
So I did
To find out what happened to your brother
Prison has changed you
I have matured that is all
Well should you tire of my research then you are welcome to view all the other discs
We also have friends you know
You do not like boys now do you?
Were you buggered in the prison showers once too often?
I know a lot of boys
Fuck you Laura
I am sorry Carlos but I am spoken for
We both laughed I might have changed but Laura had not
I have watched all of the civil war discs
And
Your brother only shows up on disc eight after six and twenty-eight minutes
When was he born?
1922
So he would have been between sixteen or seventeen when he disappeared
I was his younger sister
So you tell me
If Carlos is still alive then he would be ninety five
And you?
I am eighty-seven
I was nearly unconscious as I was tied roughly to a post
There was so much blood on my face I could hardly see what was happening
I could see soldiers with rifles
And then the pain
The searing pain
I found it difficult to breathe
A soldier with shiny boots stood in front of me
I felt him place a gun against the nape of my neck
Carlos tell me what you have taken?
The voice was detached
It was Laura’s
Will he pull through?
I cannot tell
The drug is unidentified
We must identify the substance
A soldier with shiny boots stood in front of me
I felt him place a gun against the nape of my neck
Do not worry about me the soldier has finished me off
Laura came into my bedroom at about nine in the morning with a cup of coffee
She was fully dressed and appeared to have been out whilst I was still sleeping
Excuse me sir but do you know the woman who has been watching the Spanish Civil War discs
Yes
Her name
Why do you need to know?
Please give me her name
Check your records
Laura de Sol
Then you have her name
Thank you sir
Then why ask me?
Because she has been stealing discs from the library for the last year
She has depleted our Spanish Civil War stock
I have informed the authorities
Are you her lover?
No I am her brother
Do you fuck her?
I am her brother
If she was my sister I would fuck her
Laura came into my bedroom at about nine in the morning with a cup of coffee
She was fully dressed and appeared to have been out whilst I was still sleeping
Should we revive him?
Yes
Why?
Because of the paperwork if nothing else you oaf
Every time a prisoner dies then there is paperwork mountains of paperwork and then an enquiry
Even for a sad junkie like this
He is not a junkie
A junkie would be able to handle this
But he is already dead he was shot by the Nationalists in 1938
Do not listen to rumours Gonzalez
I was sitting on the floor opposite Laura and Maria
Did you sleep well?
Very
I used to sleep in that bed it is very soft
After prison bunks every bed is soft
Did you discover anything looking at the discs?
Not now Maria lets have breakfast
Well all I know is that your brother was not executed by the Nationalists in 1938
Because he published a book of poetry in 1946 in Argentina
I would have found this out
He used a pen name
What was that?
An English name
Michael Stanley Collins
Is he still alive?
Poets never die
Lorca is dead
Is he?
Did he publish any further books of poetry?
Yes in 1951 and 1965
Both were published in English in Argentina
Does he still live there?
No he left in the 1970s
It was not safe for him to stay
Should we revive him?
Yes
Why?
Because of the paperwork if nothing else you oaf
Every time a prisoner dies then there is paperwork mountains of paperwork and then an enquiry
Laura was wearing a red print dress which was quite modest
Maria was wearing a green print dress which was quite modest
One of us is wearing underwear the other is not
Can you guess who?
I am an honourable man
You must have thought about it when you were in prison
I am an honourable man
My head was slammed into a stainless steel basin
For fucks sake Gonzalez be careful
Even for a sad junkie like this
He is not a junkie
A junkie would be able to handle this
But he is already dead he was shot by the Nationalists in 1938
Do not listen to rumours Gonzalez
I was vomiting
But I did not open my eyes
Get it out of him get the poison out of him
Where in the fuck is the doctor?
At lunch
He has to eat
If he dies there will hell to pay
He’s only a prison junkie we have many
He is not a junkie
He is a poet
I was nearly unconscious as I was tied roughly to a post
There was so much blood on my face I could hardly see what was happening
I could see soldiers with rifles
And then the pain
The searing pain
I found it difficult to breathe
A soldier with shiny boots stood in front of me
I felt him place a gun against the nape of my neck
There was a loud knock at the door
Police
Fuck!
Have you any drugs on you?
No I am clean
Police open the door
Laura opened the door and was faced with two officers who I took to be Catalans
Yes
Are you Laura de Sol?
Yes
Miss de Sol
Mrs I am married
Maria who had been in the kitchen joined Laura by the door
And this is my wife
The taller of the two cops looked at Maria’s rubber gloves
And yes officer this is cocaine
We have a warrant to search this apartment
Why?
We have reason to believe that you have been stealing discs about the Spanish Civil War from the library
There is no need to search the apartment all the discs are in our study correctly labelled
My brother stole them for me
Your brother is dead he was shot by the Nationalists in 1938
Please do not take the discs with the blue labels as those are our private discs
Carlos was too embarrassed to watch them
I am an honourable man
Officer one of us is not wearing underwear can you guess who?
An hour later I was in a police cell
I was wearing print dress
I was not aware of its colour as I had closed my eyes when I was arrested
Maria gave it to me as a prize for guessing that she was not wearing underwear
The cops applauded me
It was a moment of triumph
They will throw the book at you lad
You have only been out of prison for a short while and you have been found in the possession of property stolen from the library
I am not guilty
They all say that
At least you guessed correctly that is a very pretty dress
What colour is it?
Yellow
Like the sun
Like the sun
There was a knock at the door
I heard the cop vacate my cell
He returned minutes later
The city of Madrid owes you a great apology sir
Why?
We have arrested the wrong man
Your papers state that you are Carlos de Sol when in fact you are Michael Stanley Collins
Am I?
You were born in Leatherhead England in 1922
May I keep the dress?
Please do it is the least we can do
Laura came into my bedroom at about nine in the morning with a cup of coffee
She was fully dressed and appeared to have been out whilst I was still sleeping
In the movies I would be naked or wearing very little
You would be getting hard over me
This is not the movies
My wife would walk in and surprise us and you can guess the rest
I am an honourable man
May I keep your dress?
I do not have a yellow one
The cops were so kind to you
Maria gave it to me
It was a prize
The room was filled with small grey monitors and for a small charge one could watch anything that was not illegal
Two men of Middle Eastern appearance were chatting to their wives and kissing the screen when their children appeared with their toys
That is where I found Laura sitting in front of monitor four watching grainy film of a long forgotten war
She was pleased to see me
We were joined by an older woman who began to look at wild flowers on various websites
I always choose my flowers with care
That’s nice
It is for my brother
He died in the Spanish Civil War
At Cordoba in 1936
My brother also died in the war
In 1938
He was only sixteen years old
He had lied about his age
They shot him like a rabid dog but I say they were the rabid ones
I spit in Franco’s grave
So do I
Who is that handsome man you have with you?
A friend his name is Carlos
You look very pale Carlos have you been in prison?
Alas yes
Were you a terrorist?
No a drug dealer
Scum of the earth if you excuse me
This city is riddled with drugs
Do you take drugs my dear?
No never
I knew so you have a lovely complexion
I used to have a complexion like you when I was young
But age and cigarettes caught up on me
Not even a tramp would want to know me now
You are still attractive madam is she not Carlos?
You are very attractive madam
And you have an exquisite taste in flowers
My sister also died in the war
I still have her blood stained shirt
I sleep with it every night
She was shot by a sniper in an ambush
What was her name?
Marisa
My sister’s name was Marisa
I would have fought also but I was just a child
Although I did set fire to cornfields
Who would suspect a little girl?
I will be in next week on Friday if you are here I will be glad to speak to you
You remind me so much of Marisa
I was in a small prison cell with white washed walls
It reeked of vomit and shit
In the corner huddled on his bunk was another prisoner
He had shit himself
I banged at the cell door
This man is in distress please help him
There was no answer so I repeated my plea
There was a bang at the door
What is it?
This man is in distress
He has shit himself
And you cannot stand the smell
What can I do about it?
Get medical help he is obviously ill
The doctors are all at lunch
They are always at lunch
If you are so concerned then clean him up yourself
There is a basin in the corner
He has not moved since you brought him in
Perhaps he is dead
Dead men do not shit themselves
Laura looked through the spy hole in the cell door
I felt ashamed
I will take him home
In that state
Would you clean him up?
No
I am not asking you to do it without payment
Laura opened her purse and pulled out a couple of bills
Please help me no taxi will accept him in that state
The cop accepted the bills that Laura had given him and I was dragged roughly into the showers
Fucking junkie you do not deserve a sister like that
It seemed that they were using disinfectant to clean me up
I was given a worn scrubbing brush
Here scrub yourself I am not going to touch you and if you are not pristine for your lovely sister then I will rip your balls off
You do not deserve a sister like that
Do you watch her?
Do you spy on her you pervert?
Fuck off
The cop hit me with his fist
The next time I will really hurt you
Do you look at her breasts when she is in the bath?
Do they excite you?
Laura came into my bedroom at about nine in the morning with a cup of coffee
She was fully dressed and appeared to have been out whilst I was still sleeping
Laura the cop wants to know whether I get excited when I look at your breasts
Of course he does officer
He is a real man unlike you
Laura took a pistol from her bag and shot the cop between the eyes
He fell dead at my feet
You said that you were not a terrorist
A girl can have her secrets
Here let me help to clean you up
I sat in the back of the taxi in an ill-fitting police uniform
The driver drove us to a gay club in the south of the city
Laura had suggested this to avoid suspicion
Laura came into my bedroom at about nine in the morning with a cup of coffee
She was fully dressed and appeared to have been out whilst I was still sleeping
Why did you kill the cop?
What cop?
Here read this
Laura took a pistol from her bag and shot the cop between the eyes
He fell dead at my feet
You have just written it I saw you write it
Maria is in the kitchen
Two days later Laura and Maria held a small gathering for a few friends at their apartment
To my surprise I was the only man
Of the fifteen or so people that were there I only recognised one face
Stella a supply teacher from Malaga
I had met her briefly at a book launch shortly before I was imprisoned
That is a complete lie I do not read books at all
I have a French translation of Eliot’s poetry in my jacket pocket
I do not speak French
I do not read poetry
Stella joined me at the window after a few minutes
It is a nice park Madrid has so many nice parks
Yes
Have you walked through it?
No
You are Laura’s brother if I am not mistaken
No I am an Englishman called Michael Stanley Collins
Laura’s brother died during the Spanish Civil War
Do you recognise me?
Yes you are Stella and you were born in Malaga
Are you still a supply teacher?
No I am a real one
Stella laughed at her own joke and let her white wine dazzle her lips
I have not seen you in a while
I have been in prison
How dreadful did you kill someone?
Madrid is full of scumbags
No drugs I supplied drugs
A financier’s daughter overdosed quite badly and they came down on me
Did she survive?
I believe so
That’s good
She is a researcher for the Socialists now
You are full of facts
And you
Well I am a teacher at a school in the west of the city
I am married and try to have sex at least once a week
Stella laughed at her own joke and let her white wine dazzle her lips
You went to school with my husband
Did I?
Belen R
No
Belen R
Oh yes the small fat girl who cried a lot
She is a beautiful swan now
But still weeps a lot when things sadden her
Please give her my regards
Better still would you like to see her
Is she here?
No
Stella took a top of the range phone from her jeans pocket and tapped in a code
See there is Belen R
She is in the bath
She knows I am watching her
I have cameras set up all over my apartment
That must be expensive
It did not cost me a penny
Belen R had risen from the bath and was drying herself with a mauve towel
I watched as the cameras followed her through the apartment
Whilst she had thinned out greatly Belen R was still a little chubby
Did you have them in prison?
Have what?
Webcams
No
Security cameras
Yes when they worked
It is the same principle
The park over there has them to keep out the scum out
Belen R and I have them in our apartment so we can be watched 24/7 365
By who?
Anybody who pays
Stella handed me her phone again
Belen R was lying on a bed with her back to the camera
She appeared to be masturbating
I handed the phone back to Stella
Don’t you like it?
I am an honourable man
Laura and Maria have camera’s set up in this apartment
See there is one there and another one next to us here
I looked but could not see any cameras
I cannot see any
They are all around us with the exception of the WC
She drew the line at people watching her shit
It does not bother me though
If people get off watching me shit or having a period then so be it
I looked around the room but still could not see any cameras
I saw you arrive on Thursday
Poor you
Why?
You have such a white body
Prison
You should go to the beach
There are no beaches in Madrid
You seem to spend a great deal of time in the study
There are no cameras in the study
Laura would not let them put cameras in the study
Them?
The owners of the website
What website?
Madrid Apartments 24/7
I think that is what ours is called
You really do not know do you?
No this is new to me
These type of webcams are really big in Spain just now
Do you get paid?
What a silly question
Of course we do and quite handsomely
How do you think that Laura and Maria could afford this palace?
Laura’s father helped
He gave them money when they married
Laura’s father did not give them any money
She fucked him off by marrying Maria and he is still fucked off with her
He could not see his daughter as a dyke
Laura came from very conservative money you know
Laura’s father and his father too did very well out of Franco’s Spain
But Franco hated gays that was the reason Lorca was murdered
So she funded this apartment with money from the website company?
Correct
Why did she lie to me?
Probably not to scare you away
Meaning?
Well have you whacked off in the shower since you have been here?
No I am an honourable man
Well if you had it would have been broadcast live on the website and that might have fucked you off a bit
That is why they both walk around naked at times it is part of the contract
I have never seen either of them naked
As long as we are naked at times and fuck and lick every so often then they leave you alone
Who
You are really not awake are you?
The companies who own the websites
There are many in Spain at present
It is quite fun you know
Belen R and I watch Laura and Maria and they watch us
Laura most probably has some discs somewhere
Stella must have noted recognition in my eyes
You have watched them
No I am an honourable man
Liar
What do you think?
I have not watched them
Do you know that Laura steals from the library?
Yes
Well it goes both ways as she returns discs
Not the Spanish Civil War ones they are in the study
I know
She returns our fuck discs
Recordings of Maria and herself
Recordings of Belen R
Recordings of Stella the teacher
Recordings of all our other girlfriends
She swaps the labels so for instance one might show a title such as The Trams of Madrid or something equally as bland
Surely the library has tumbled on this
They might have
Then why do they not stop it?
Because all the girls are doing it
They are overwhelmed
And I do not think they give a fuck anyway
I know for a fact that the head librarian has many copies
He is heavily into gay girls
How do you know?
Because I hold an art class for the older people on Wednesday afternoon and one of the junior librarians recognised me
What happened?
We just swopped discs and have done so on occasions since
You said that you teach art to the older members of the library
Yes
Do you find it rewarding?
Very
There were art workshops in prison
Did you attend any?
No
Why?
I cannot draw
Everybody can draw
I find it incredibly rewarding being surrounded by these older people
Some remember the civil war clearly
There is such a maturity to their art
They put a lifetime of experience into their drawings
And also some of the men may have watched me on the website or have stolen a disc from the library
That makes me wet
Laura who had been mingling came across to Stella and gave her a small kiss on the cheek
You have stolen my brother
I like Englishmen
I like their cool temperament
That is a generalisation Stella
They can be as temperamental as Spanish men
Laura left us as suddenly as she had found us
There had been a knock at the door
I looked around the room but still could not see any cameras
Tomorrow at about seven I will be in the shower if you want to watch
Belen R and I shower together on Fridays if you can wait that long
I am an honourable man
Or just check out our back catalogue
A soldier with shiny boots stood in front of me
I felt him place a gun against the nape of my neck
I did not believe what Stella had told me
When I was finally left alone in the apartment I accessed the website
There were cameras in all the rooms of the apartment except the study and the WC
I looked around the apartment again but could not see any cameras
I went back to the study and rewound to see if the cameras had recorded my search
To my surprise the webcam had not recorded my movements
I tried again and again
There was no record of me
I checked the recording of the get together and there was film of Stella standing by the bookcase
But she was not talking to me
We had spoken for quite a while
But there was no record of my presence
I switched to Stella’s apartment which was empty
I reversed the recording
Stella was indeed in the shower at seven in the morning
She waved briefly at the camera
She knew that I would watch the recording
I switched back to Laura’s apartment and wound back to the day of my arrival
There was plenty of footage of Laura and Maria but I did not appear once
As I switched back to the live recording there was a knock at the door
A parcel was being delivered
I was away from the screen for about five minutes but when I returned the screen was not showing Laura’s apartment but a recording of prisoners being readied for execution
I tried to exit
But the system would not let me
I checked my location
I was still logged into Madrid Apartments 24/7
Some of the men were crying
Some stood erect and faced their executioners bravely
One man who did not look to be Spanish spat in the face of a soldier
He was immediately hit in the face with a rifle butt
As he lay in agony on the grass he was shot dead by another soldier
This soldier looked up at the camera and smiled and then lit a cigarette
The prisoners were tied to rough wooden posts and shot
They were then shot in the back of the head
Another prisoner who had not been executed was forced to remove his trousers
A soldier placed his rifle between the doomed man’s buttocks and pulled to trigger
The man lurched forward with a look of abject terror on his face
This was the punishment for homosexuals
I suddenly realised that I was going to vomit and rushed to the bathroom
When I returned I was again logged into Madrid Apartments 24/7
I tapped each key on the keyboard but nothing happened
Finally I ended up in Stella’s apartment
Belen R was in the kitchen cooking
She was wearing an orange print dress
On my cell wall I had written in biro a quote from Camus
In the depth of winter.
I finally learned that within me
There lay an invincible summer
This quote gave me a lot of comfort and as the ink faded in the bright sun
I made the impression harder and thicker with a heavier pen
I was caught by a prison guard who made me clean it off
I did as I as told and then reapplied the quote elsewhere
I was discovered again and was forced to clean the latrines with a toothbrush
Tiring of this continued punishment I murdered both of the guards in a dream and was not bothered again
There was a sharp knock at the door
I answered it and had a pistol stuck in my face
On your knees you fucking junkie
What have I done?
You are a card carrying member of the communist party
What!
And you are a faggot
Well this faggot is going to overdose
I was pushed on to the floor and a bandage was applied to my upper arm
It was then that I saw Maria
She was wearing a cop’s jacket over her cream print dress
Is this the commie pervert who has been watching you Marisa?
Yes
Then I will let you inject him
He will not trouble you further
Thank you for reporting this to us
Without much care Maria plunged the needle into a vein
I winced at the pain
The bandage was removed
I watched the cops leave
That is all that I remembered
When I came to Sinead O’Connor was playing on the radio
Laura was walking around the apartment dusting
I thought you said you were clean
I am
Liar
The cops attacked me
Yes and they raped me at the same time
You are a fool Carlos
Does Maria work for the police?
No she is an accountant
She stuck the needle into my arm
Check the webcam
So you know about that
Stella told me
Bitch
Why are you being so hostile?
Because I hate commies
Laura came into my bedroom at about nine in the morning with a cup of coffee
She was fully dressed and appeared to have been out whilst I was still sleeping
She killed him you know
Killed who?
Carlos
Who killed Carlos?
Marisa killed Carlos
The old woman’s sister
Yes
Why did she do that?
Because she was a psychopath
She hated men
There were a lot of psychopaths around during the civil war
Just as there were a lot of psychopaths around during World War Two
War is a breeding ground for psychopaths
How do you know this?
You told me
You were there
Marisa was your lover
I do not remember Marisa
Do you remember the cornfield?
What cornfield?
She seduced you
You were so happy to see her breasts
You were a vigin
You made love and just as you were about to achieve orgasm she shot you in the face
That is why you are blind
I am not blind
Could you see yourself on the webcam?
No
That is because you are blind
So you are saying Marisa killed me in the cornfield?
Yes
But I escaped to Argentina and assumed the identity of an Englishman
She blew your brains out Carlos
She killed you
You were left to rot in that cornfield
You have no final resting place
Marisa Gomez killed upwards of forty men before her miserable life was ended by that sniper
She is one of the most famous psychopaths of the Spanish Civil War
I do not know why I am telling you this
You are perfectly aware of the history of Marisa Gomez
Why do you think the old lady torched the fields?
It was to cover her sister’s crimes
But being young she did not do it very well
If I am blind Laura how could I see all your recordings?
I saw you and Maria
Stella and Belen R
I watched everything
I trust you enjoyed them
I am an honourable man
I felt the medic trying to find a pulse
They were stretching me out
Laura was crying
Maria was crying
Stella was crying
Belen R was crying
Madrid Apartments 24/7 had taken the greatest number of hits in their short history
A junkie had died live on their website
The advertising revenue was sure to rise
I felt my body stiffening
Rigor Mortis was setting in
I had been dead for hours
Still the medics checked for my pulse
He is dead can you not see that?
He must have taken a tankful of whatever he took
I thought he was clean
So did I
Junkies are never clean
He did not even realise he was blind
He was such an honourable man
The room was filled with small grey monitors and for a small charge one could watch anything that was not illegal
Two men of Middle Eastern appearance were chatting to their wives and kissing the screen when their children appeared with their toys
That is where I found Laura sitting in front of monitor four watching grainy film of a long forgotten war
I have just completed my sixth book of poetry
It will be my last
I have no more poetry left in me
I returned to Argentina ten years ago
It was safe for me to return
I have called my last book of poems
Laura
After my late sister
Who was raped and killed in a cornfield by a Falangist in the summer of 1938
Michael Stanley Collins