Cynthia Bitch was an invisible girl
Who had an obsession with William Tell
To force her man out of his ram-loss-rut
She went to the barbers for a blonde buzz cut

Authors Notes on William Tell and Cynthia Bitch

I was given this poem by a shop assistant in Zurich when purchasing a Swiss Navy Knife – its origins are obscure

The legend of William Tell was first recorded in a late fifteenth century Swiss illustrated chronicle

Although an expert with a crossbow there is no evidence that William Tell liked buzz cuts on girls called Cynthia Bitch although it was said that he was very fond of the moon

It was noted that when he assassinated the bailiff Gessler that the moon was full but this has never been confirmed

The assassination however paved the way for the Confederacy’s rebellion against Austria

Cynthia Bitch is the goddess of the moon