I was walking up a hill in my local park listening to Groupie on my headphones.

I often did this in my dreams

I enjoyed listening to European popular music on my head phones

I liked a lot of what Bob Sinclair had recorded but not all

I respected a great number of recording artists but found that there were songs that I did not care for

Only Indila had recorded songs that I found that I liked in their entirety

But I was not listening to the French singer that day

I was listening to Groupie by Bob Sinclair

As I reached the brow of the hill neat the war memorial I noticed a number of men fighting near a fence

Although unusual it was not unknown for people to fight in the park

I took no notice

And then I heard a shot

One of the men fell onto the grass

From where I was standing he seemed to be dead

A man walking his dog passed me

They are fighting again

The gangsters are fighting

Another shot rang out and a second man fell

There was only one fight taking place and the remaining gangsters watched for a while until one of them raised a pistol and shot the man who was wearing a leather jacket in the head

The three men were staring at me

I was a witness

They raised their guns

I began to run

I expected to be shot in the back

But I reached the treelike fence without incident

The gangsters followed me and soon were standing above me

I was crouching trying to gain what cover the fence would afford me

It was then I noticed that one of the gangsters was wearing a summer dress

I tried not to laugh at such a toughie in a summer frock

What do you find funny?

Nothing

Do you realise that you have just witnessed three deaths

How dreadful

Why did you kill them?

They infringed on our business interests

I was still smiling

What do you find funny?

That a toughie like you is wearing a summers dress

I am a transsexual

I gathered that

Even when I was in gangster school I felt I was more of a girl than a boy

I often wore bras when participating in assassinations

Were you mocked?

Yes frequently

I lost count the number of times I was buggered in the showers

One of the other gangsters grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet

Are you afraid?

Yes it is not often that you see people assassinated in the park

What do you think of transsexuals?

Do you think Rocco is a pervert?

A pervert no but I believe that he suffers from a character defect

They have removed his dick bit not his Adams Apple

He still has a masculine voice

I noticed that

Why did you not go the full hog Rocco?

Is it that you want things both ways?

You want breasts and a cunt but you still want to retain the masculine advantages of life

Do you not get abuse when you go about your daily gangster duties?

Yes

What do you do?

I either kill or maim them

Are you guys going to kill or maim me?

We know where you live

In that beautiful Victorian cottage with the wisteria hanging from the porch

It is rather beautiful is it not?

I love the perfume when it is at the height of its display

Are you going to kill me?

We should do

I agree

After all you have witnessed the assassination of three members of a rival firm and you have called Rocco here a poof

I did not call him a poof

I noted that his condition is viewed in some circles as a character defect

You have to admit that seeing a six foot two man walking around a shopping mall dressed as a woman is a rather odd sight

Some people find it offensive

Do you?

No I take a more academic viewpoint

That being

That transsexuals suffer from a kind of character defect

You cannot say it is normal for a man to dress as a woman except in jest

All three gangsters raised their guns and pointed them towards my face

You are quite a nice looking chap

Thank you

If we each fire our guns into your face your good looks will disappear in a split second

I know that is rather boring for me

I rather like being good looking

We are hardened killers

I know

Before you pull the trigger I would like to ask one question

That being

Who was the man with the dog and why did you show no interest in him?

There was no man with a dog

There was he was dressed in a tweed jacket and had a Red Setter

You must be dreaming pretty boy there was no man with a dog

I must be

I wish I was dreaming

Why

One cannot die in their dreams

You just wake up and touch your dream catcher and all is well again

Your nasty nightmares are at an end

One of the gangsters pulled my headphones roughly from my head and placed one of the cans against his bloodied ear

What is this shit?

Groupie by Bob Sinclair

Is he a Yank?

No French

With a name like Bob Sinclair

That is not his real name

What is his real name?

I cannot remember

Why do you like this shit

I just like the beat

The lyrics are a little banal but the energy of the music makes up for it

Do you like Elvis?

I admire Elvis

Do you like Hendrix?

I admire Hendrix

Who do you like apart from Bob Sinclair?

I would not say that I was keen on everything he records

But I like

Indila

Lolita Jolie

H Magnum

Keny Arkana

They are all foreign

I know

Where do they come from?

Mostly France although Lolita is German I believe

Fancy calling your child Lolita

That is not her real name

I think her real name is Claudia

Have you any last words?

Not really but I wish this was a dream as you do not die in dreams

This is not a dream I assure you

Shit happens

One of the gangsters opened my mouth and put the barrel of his gun onto my tongue

Both the gangster in the summer dress and the one in the dark suit pointed their guns straight at my eyes  

It will not take long and you will not feel any pain pretty boy

I will plant a small bag of coke on you soiled by blood

It will look like a drugs deal that went wrong

I awaited oblivion and was keen to see if I had been dreaming all along

Then I heard another voice

I saw the man in the tweed jacket with his beautiful Red Setter

Chief

What are you doing to this poor fella?

Executing him

Why?

He has seen everything and he has suggested that Rocco here has a character defect

The Chief Gangster looked at me

Is this true?

I tried to speak but the barrel of the gun was inhibiting me

Take the gun out of his mouth Gladys let the poor man speak

Is what the boys have said true?

Yes

That is rather grave you know

I suppose it is

I could not help but to stumble on the assassinations but I should have kept my mouth shut about my views on transsexuals

I suppose it is not very correct to think that way these days

Fuck Political Correctness

It is a form of Maoism of Stalinism

I cannot stand it

The Chief Gangster took the headphones from Rocco who as far as I could see was quite enjoying Groupie by Bob Sinclair

Is this what you listen to?

Sometimes

Catchy but banal don’t you agree?

Yes

The Chief Gangster smiled

Let is never be said I am a cruel man

I kill yes but these people that deserve to die

There is a simple logic to that

But I am not a cruel man

Do you think you deserve to die?

Well if I am dreaming yes

It does not matter

You cannot die in your dreams

But if this is real then no

The Chief Gangster handed my headphones to me

This shit you listen to

Yes

Do you know much about Bob Sinclair?

A little

Well I hope you know more than I little as your life will depend on it

If you answer my question correctly then we will release you and you will be able to return to your beautiful Victorian home with the wisteria dangling from the porch

If you get it wrong then the boys here will blow your head off

Your pretty face will be no more

Do you think that I am being fair?

Very much

Here is the question

You have five seconds to give me the answer

Ready

Yes

Are you familiar with Far l’ amore with Bob Sinclair and Raffaella Carra?

Yes

Well Raffaella featured in the accompanying video but she was not the woman in the taxi who ends up arguing with the driver

Who was actress who played that part?

The gangsters each raised their guns and pointed them at my head

1

2

3

4

Caterina Murino

Caterina Murino played the part

Correct well done  

Each of the gangsters stood back and retired their guns

Close your eyes and we will be gone

You will never see us again

And here is a tip for you pretty boy

If you are going to listen to music late at night then please stick to classical music as it is mostly harmless

I awoke

My wife was looking at me

My wife is beautiful

My wife has beautiful breasts

Are you looking at my breasts?

Yes

Then you can make the tea and be careful not to spill it

I had this odd dream

Tea

Now

Dreams later pretty boy