That is an unusual name if you do not mind me saying so

But a very pretty one

Thank you

Thurmuthis was at her most feminine as the two American tourists spoke to her

I knew that she was acting as for long periods of time she was a wildcat

I should know this as I am her brother Richard

Do you know where your name originated from?

I am not sure but I think it is Egyptian

Something to with the Pharaohs I am told

Are you visiting the area?

Yes with my brother Ricky

Thurmuthis waved in my direction and I waved back

Your brother does not have an unusual name

I have a cousin called Richard from Birmingham Alabama

He is a preacher

That’s nice do you see him often

No he died last year

I should have said he was a preacher

Hit by a truck outside of his church

Killed stone cold dead

Such a good man

Thurmuthis and Richard were visiting St Oswald’s church in Grasmere and had just visited the poets grave

Do you know much about the poet?

A little but Ricky is the one that you should speak to as he is an expert on all the poets

They say that he lived with his sister

They were very close and Dorothy continued to live with William after his marriage to Mary Hutchinson in 1802  

Folk might talk if they did that at home

It was quite common in Victorian times for in-laws to share the family home

Richard and I share a house in London and we are rarely apart

Although we do not fuck as much these days

You are not married then

No

I was bi-curious for a while but never married

And your brother?

No Ricky does not have the time to be married

He has me to deal with and I am very demanding

What is your profession?

I am a whore

A high class whore and Ricky is my pimp

The American couple smiled sweetly

My brother Bill had a cousin who was a street whore in Boston but no good came of it

Why?

She got hit by a truck outside of her whorehouse

Killed stone cold dead

Did not see forty poor Gayle

What a lovely gal she was

If you do not mind me asking where did your parents find such an unusual name?

In a church in Wiltshire

How original

Were they visiting the church?

No they were married there

You see mummy was three months gone with me and was searching for a name

And she found it in a church

Yes and not any church

Have you heard of Avebury?

Where the stone circle is

Yes

Well Daddy was something important with the National Trust and managed to get the little church at Avebury for his marriage to mummy  

How romantic

Well he had to marry mummy as her family was causing a huge stink

Especially as he was engaged to Marigold at the time

Are they still together?

Very much

They run a flower shop in Eastbourne

And poor Marigold

She lives with them and helps to run the flower shop

Thurmuthis looked in my direction but I pretended to be engrossed in The Prelude

Fuck you Ricky

Tough it out Thurmuthis

A further question from the couple interrupted Thurmuthis’s thoughts

So you are saying that on her wedding day in Avebury your mother found your lovely name

Yes on a memorial just to the right of the altar

It seems that my namesake was one of many sisters that pre-deceased the brother who was celebrated on the memorial

I think he was the son of the vicar

I love British history I sure do

Elmer and I will not take up more of your time my dear 

It has been so lovely meeting you

Please remember us to your brother

I watched as the elderly American couple walked away and disappeared from sight

I thought it was a good time to join Thurmuthis who was looking sternly in my direction

You are a cunt Ricky you could have helped me

I thought you were having a good time

They were a nice couple

The man smelt of peppermints and kept looking at my breasts

You have nice breasts

Don’t you dare abandon me again

Well then behave yourself

Mend your ways

Do not be such a wildcat

I am not a wildcat

I will be your William if you will be my Dorothy

Fuck you Ricky

I took my sister by her hand and led her towards a small café that was situated not far from the church

Do you know something?

What

That Tennyson wrote really good poetry throughout his life whereas William’s work tended to fade a bit as he grew older

What is that meant to mean?

Nothing I just thought it would be a good conversation piece should you be cornered by any more Americans

You are such a pompous prick Ricky

And you are a bitch Thurmuthis

But it is my call for tea so choose what you like