I was sitting in my car
Opposite a rubber factory
That was above a river
In my mirror I saw a policewoman coming towards me
Is this your car sir?
Yes
I have reason to believe that you have been driving it illegally
What makes you say that?
I saw you drive into this car park
This car park used to be a memorial garden to the dead of both wars
It is now a car park
Can I see your driving licence?
I handed the policewoman my driving licence and wondered if she had pubic hair or as with the fashion had shaved her pubic area
May I ask you a question officer?
You are driving illegally sir
Do you shave your cunt?
Have you ever taken a driving test sir?
When I was growing up most women had hairy pubic areas but it seems today that depilation is fashionable
Do you realise that you have committed an offence by driving without having passed your test
Are you insured?
No
Is this your car?
Yes
It was reported stolen according to my latest information
I was given it when I was a baby
Would you please step out of your car sir
I stepped out of the car and stood next to the policewoman who to my slight surprise was nearly my height
What is the most painful thing that has ever happened to you officer?
I lost my lover in a car crash six years ago
What was her name?
Lou
Are you still grieving?
Yes
Have you ever visited the art gallery in this town?
No
Then once you have finished with me visit the gallery
I am on duty
Fuck duty
Why should I visit your art gallery?
You are still suffering are you not?
I am shaven as I find it cleaner and more agreeable when I masturbate
Do you read philosophy?
No
Arthur Schopenhaeur mentioned art and aesthetics more than once in his works
We had made love
Did you have pubic hair at the time?
Yes and we had both trimmed our bushes into a heart shape
Like Mary Quant
It was our declaration of love to each other
A temporary way to escape pain is to contemplate aesthetics
She died in head on smash just hours later
Her pillow was still warm when I returned home that evening
Aesthetics allows one to escape the void of despair although this is a temporary experience
Is that why art galleries close at night?
You jest
Music is the purest form of art both Schopenhaeur and Nietzsche both believed this to be true
Do you like music?
Yes
Such as
Rock and Roll
I like dance music
Hardcore and that sort of stuff
To Schopenhaeur music depicted the will without being subject to the Principle of Sufficient Grounds and was therefore an object in itself
Are those your conclusions?
No I have stolen them as I am a worthless car thief who has been driving without a licence
What is that on your back seat sir?
A dead fox
How did it die?
I ran it over
Most drivers leave kill on the roads why did you pick it up?
I did not want it to be given a Christian burial
Are you an atheist sir?
No
I love God but I know that man has murdered God and I did not want the fox to experience this pain
You are an honourable man sir
Are you going to arrest me officer?
No
Then I will take my leave of you
It is not that easy
What do you want of me?
I want you to come to my residence and keep me company
Do you want me to fuck you?
No just keep me company
And if I refuse
Then I will arrest you
Leave your car here and come with me
What about the fox
Throw it into the river
But rivers are a Christian symbol
Throw it in the river or let it rot it is up to you
I picked up the shattered body of the broken fox and threw it into the river
A number of factory workers watched me do so
They applauded my action and cast the body of the owner of the factory into the deep river also
I applauded their actions
In the afterlife (and there is an afterlife) the owner of the factory and the fox became good friends
That was of great comfort to me as I had murdered God
I found myself lying on a large bed
The policewoman was next to me
We were both naked
I was awake
The policewoman was asleep
I was lying on my back
The policewoman was lying on her stomach
I looked at her arse
It was not a pleasant arse
It was rather large and showed a good deal of cellulite
I looked around her room
It was the room of a grieving policewoman
On the wall was a photograph of a woman who I assumed to be Lou
But what disturbed me was the presence of a rather large window which did not look out on to the street but into the house next door
As far as I could work out the window was positioned at carpet level on the first landing on a staircase in the house
From my supine vantage I could see the upper landing and at the base of the stairs two doors both open
After a while a woman descended the stairs and stopped
She was looking at us
I tried to cover myself but there was no sheet
My penis began to stiffen
This was a weakness of mine
I did not just drive illegally but was an exhibitionist
The woman smiled and resumed her journey
So apart from being an illegal driver you are also an exhibitionist and a voyeur
The policewoman was facing me
I looked at her cunt
It was not shaven indeed she had a large amount of pubic hair that crept slightly on to her thighs
You said you were shaven
I lied
Why did you lie?
Because you lied to me
How did I lie to you?
You said that the car was yours when indeed it was stolen also the poor fox that you cast into the river was not dead
It was I killed it with my car
It was very much alive when you cast it into the river
That is why I lied to you
The woman who had looked at us through the window returned
I felt my penis harden once again
It grew even harder when I realised she was naked
I watched her as she ascended the stairs
She is not naked
You want her to be naked
But she is not naked
She is your ideal projection
You became erect for no reason
I liked the idea that she could see us both naked
I am an exhibitionist
And a voyeur
Are you naked?
Yes
Well why did I imagine that the woman the other side of the window was naked and not imagine you naked
Because you do not find me attractive I am quite ordinary and I know that
The woman behind the window was far more attractive than me
Was
Yes was
Lou
Yes
There is no house next door
I guessed that
There is no window
It is an extension of my grief
Why did I witness it?
Because you interrupted my dream
The policewoman slid out of the bed and walked towards the kitchen table
As I watched her move around the kitchen I realised that she was indeed a number of pounds overweight
Her whole body seemed to sag under its own duress
She lit a cigarette and moved towards the window that overlooked the high street
Is it eleven yet?
Why do you ask?
Because each day unless I am on duty I stand here so that two men can masturbate over me
They live in apartments six and twenty-eight across the road
If they are not there or if any other apartments are occupied I desist with my exposure
Are they there today?
Yes one of them is there
Is he masturbating?
Yes
I only stand here as long as it takes me to smoke a cigarette and then I move away from the window
Do you touch yourself?
No I just smoke a cigarette
Do you know these men?
Yes I have met them both
You are very accommodating does it turn you on
No
Then why do it
To give pleasure to them
Who are they?
One is a twenty-eight year old man called Phillip who suffers from Downs Syndrome
He lives with his sister in apartment six
But she is a businesswoman who is away quite often
She has employed a carer
But the carer does not care
She is a slut
She has named him Cunt and often masturbates in front of him
He cannot react as he is confined to a wheelchair
He just watches and weeps
Do you not upset him by doing to same?
I asked you the time
Yes
You told me it was eleven in the morning
It was
Well Phillip is still wearing his pyjamas and it is quite easy for him to pull his cock out and smack off over me
The carer is always late
She does not care
Sometimes she does not even change his pyjamas
She tells the sister that her brother masturbates frequently
The sister believes the lie
But I know what is going to happen
I removed myself from the bed and sat at the kitchen table
One day that slut will cause his suicide
She will abuse him once too often and he will fade into death
I poured myself a coffee
From the corner of my eye I could see the window that led into the house next door
Lou was crouching and watching us both
I felt myself becoming hard again
But you are a policewoman can you not put a stop to this?
What proof have I got?
It is not desirable to tease a deficient brain but as far as I can see not illegal
But she masturbates in front of him
Lou was crouching and watching us both
She was also urinating on the stairs
I could see her golden liquid as it splashed against the panes of the internal window
I touched my aroused penis
My hand was hot from the heat of my coffee cup and soon my blood began to recede
I turned my chair slightly as to obscure the internal window
But I still could hear the flow dripping down the panes
How can I prove it?
All I can do is give him some pleasure
One hot day he will topple out of that window and die in agony on the street below
The carer will not be blamed
She will pretend to be upset
It would be put down as a tragic accident
But she will not be blamed
But I will know the true reasons for Phillip’s suicide
He would have killed himself in despair
The sister will be secretly glad
After the mourning period
She will be a free woman
The carer will apply to join the police force and she will be accepted
Are you the carer?
Good question and an obvious one but no I am a different person
The policewoman joined me at the kitchen table
She was facing the internal window
But knew it was not there
Only I knew that her lover was not dead
I looked for my clothes
Where are my clothes
I disposed of them
Why?
You had no need of them
I did not answer
The policewoman smiled at me
You are thinking about the old man in apartment twenty-eight
Today is not his day
His mother takes him home twice a week
Today is one of those days
The apartment in empty
I was sitting in my car
Opposite a rubber factory
That was above a river
In my mirror I saw a policewoman coming towards me
Is this your car sir?
Yes
I have reason to believe that you have been driving it illegally
What makes you say that?
I saw you drive into this car park
This car park used to be a memorial garden to the dead of both wars
It is now a car park
Can I see your driving licence?
Am I naked?
Should you be?
You disposed of my clothes
I assure you sir that I did not dispose of your clothes
You are fully dressed
May I see your driving licence?
Do you realise that as a teenager Ludwig Wittgenstein was attracted to Schopenhauer’s epistemological idealism
Do you have a driving licence sir?
He studied the philosophy of mathematics
Please would you show me your driving licence and desist from staring at me
He rejected Schopenhauer’s epistemological idealism for Gottlob Frege’s conceptual realism
As he grew older Wittgenstein dismissed Schopenhauer as a shallow thinker
Wittgenstein was a homosexual I believe
Here is my driving licence
I do not like homosexuals
You are a homosexual woman
There is no such thing
The policewoman placed my driving licence into her tunic pocket
You have been driving illegally sir
I am aware of that
The policewoman looked into the rear window of my car
Why are you carrying a dead fox in your car?
Because it wanted to travel the world
How did it die?
I ran it over
Most drivers leave kill on the roads why did you pick it up?
Because I killed the fox
Most drivers leave kill on the roads why did you pick it up?
Because the fox wanted to travel the world
In a few short hours the fox will begin the decomposing
That will not bother me
I will drive with the windows open
That is the least I can do
Decomposition in any living creature is a crude experience
Tell me if you saw a tall mountain and you wanted to see the summit what would you do?
If the conditions were correct then I would hire an airplane to fly over the summit of the mountain
Would that fulfil you?
I think so
You would feel no pain only pleasure
Why would I want to feel pain?
If that was me I would climb the mountain no matter how treacherous it was
Why
To feel the ultimate pleasure and happiness one must feel pain
Otherwise it is an empty experience
The policewoman opened her tunic pocket and handed me my driving licence
Wittgenstein was a homosexual I believe
Here is your driving licence sir
I do not like homosexuals
You are a homosexual woman
There is no such thing
All women are bisexual
That is a proven fact
So lesbians are just bisexual
No I did not say that
Lesbians are men but for the most part they are harmless
So you are saying that homosexuals are different
Yes
Why?
Well it comes down to the gender I suppose
On the whole women are gentle caring creatures whereas men throughout history have been the hunter-gatherers
It is a character defect in both genders but far more dangerous in men
But what about bisexual men?
There is no such animal
So you are saying to me that most women are bisexual if they only admitted it to themselves but men are either heterosexual or homosexual
Yes
It is down to gender
That is a male fantasy
Two women together
Given I agree with you
But homosexuality is a character weakness a character defect
I am a lesbian
You are not a lesbian
Have you slept with men?
Yes
How many?
I have not counted them
Give a rough guess
About eight
Did you enjoy the experience?
Yes
Given that Lou is now dead would you fuck a man again?
Yes
You have answered your own question no matter how deep your relationship was with Lou it was not a lesbian relationship
If she had not died we would still be together
She was a perfect creature
Did you fuck men during your time with Lou?
Yes
Did she fuck men?
I believe so
Why
I am not sure
We were considering marriage
Marriage is a social institution
Homosexual marriage is social vandalism
God does not approve of homosexual marriage
You told me that God is now dead
I know I killed him
I was back in the policewoman’s room and was still sitting at the table.
The dead lover of the policewoman was fellating me under the table
The policewoman was standing at the window smoking a cigarette
The old man is in his apartment
You dead lover is fellating me
Nobody is fellating you
It is your fantasy
Even though you find me unattractive my exhibitionism id turning you on
I looked under the table
There was nobody there
Is the old man masturbating?
No he is too frail to masturbate
Then why are you standing there?
His sister is masturbating him
This is his last day
The old man is dying
It is her last gift to him
By this time tomorrow he will know if God exists or not
He will have an advantage over you and me
The policewoman smiled and sat on the bed
It is all over now
What about his sister
She will get over it
She is obsessed with her brother and his happiness
Like Nietzsche’s sister Elisabeth
Hers was a gentle love
Elisabeth’s was different she had a different agenda
The old man’s sister has no agenda
It was pure love
What did she think of your exhibition?
She appreciated my contribution
I felt that I was being fellated again and saw Lou’s head between my thighs
How did you know that?
She told me so
We exchanged Christmas cards
God is dead
How do you know that God is dead?
Because I murdered him
Suddenly I felt a terribly pain
Lou had bitten my penis
I screamed out in pain
But the policewoman did not notice my distress
I was sitting in my car
Opposite a rubber factory
That was above a river
In my mirror I saw a policewoman coming towards me
Is this your car sir?
Yes
I have reason to believe that you have been driving it illegally
What makes you say that?
I saw you drive into this car park
This car park used to be a memorial garden to the dead of both wars
It is now a car park
Can I see your driving licence?
I was sitting in my car
Opposite a rubber factory
That was above a river
In my mirror I saw a policewoman coming towards me
Is this your car sir?
Yes
May I see your driving licence
Of course
The policewoman inspected my driving licence and handed it back to me
This car park used to be a memorial garden to the dead of both wars
It is now a car park
Are you visiting this town as I notice that your accent is not local?
You are right I am from miles away
I was going to pass your lovely town but unfortunately I hit a fox and killed it
I did not want to leave it in the road so I took a detour and was looking to bury it near the river
So you have visited this town before
Yes on occasions
The policewoman looked at the corpse of the fox which was stretched out in death on a blanket
I have very little occasion to use my back seat but today it has been of use
What a beautiful creature
I agree
When I was a child in this town we used to bury all the dead creatures we found under the trees to the left of the library
I think that would be an acceptable resting place for the fox
Thank you I will purchase a spade and bury the creature
By the time I had buried the fox I found that it was nearly five in the afternoon so I chose to spend the night in the town
The main hotel was called The Swan and I chose a room with a view of the main bridge
I rested for a while and caught up with my paperwork before showering
As I approached the restaurant I noticed that the policewoman was at the bar ordering drinks
Small world
Yes it is
I decided to spend the night in the town
The Swan is a splendid hotel
Lou and I are planning to hold our reception here on Saturday
Your reception?
Yes we are getting married on Saturday
Congratulations
Although I did not see her at first a smaller woman joined us at the bar
She was attractive but not in conventional way with busy eyes and rather unkempt hair
I do not know your name
Martin my name is Martin
Martin this is Lou
She has agreed to become my wife on Saturday
Lou stepped forward and shook my hand
The policewoman realising that she had not formally introduced herself also shook my hand
Sorry this was remiss of me my name is Salome
May I buy you both a drink to celebrate the great day?
I was invited back to the table where the women were dining
Although they tried to hide their emotions I could see their excitement
Did you bury the fox under the trees?
Yes it is a beautiful place
Lou gave Salome a look of recognition
Sadly Martin killed a fox and decided to bury it in our town
We ate our meal together although I offered to be excused
Neither of the women would hear of it and we engaged in small talk which was too trivial to record
It was as I was leaving that Salome touched my hand
Martin would you do something for us both
Yes it would be a pleasure
As I answered both women removed the pendants from around their necks
Both were handed to me
As you can see the glass lockets contains hair
It is our pubic hair
We exchanged these lockets after our first night together
But now as we are going to marry their use is complete
Would you keep them for us until we meet again?
One day one us will lose the other and will suffer great pain
But through this pain there will be life again
When this happens the surviving partner will contact you
I may be dead also
I know that you will make plans
How will you know where to find me?
That is the easy part
The locket with the lighter hair is mine and the locket with the slightly darker hair is Lou’s please keep them safe
Keep the lockets under lock and key or in a bank safety box if you like but they must be kept safe
I understand I will choose the position with great care
Thank you it means a lot to both of us
I left the table and both women kissed me on my cheek
I placed the lockets in my jacket pocket but did not vacate the bar
Both women followed me
Why did you check my licence earlier?
It was part of a police initiative to clamp down on illegal drivers
Did I look illegal?
No such thing
I knew that you were the right person as soon as I met you
Instinct told me so
To take care of your lockets
Yes
You have not answered this question
What was your question?
Let’s say fifty years pass by and one of you dies
How would you know where to find me?
That is the easy part
I could be on the other side of the world
It would be difficult to locate me
No it would be the easiest task
Explain
I would just ask the first person I found of your location
They would most likely be ignorant of me
They would not be ignorant of the man who murdered God
I found myself lying on a large bed
The policewoman was next to me
We were both naked
I was awake
The policewoman was also awake
I was lying on my back
The policewoman was lying on her stomach
So you found me
That was the easy part after Lou’s death
I just asked the first person I found of your location
They would have been ignorant of me
They were not ignorant of the man who murdered God
I found you quite easily and here we are occurring again