Richard and Elisabeth were sitting in a small coffee bar that overlooked the River Thames
The day was dying and the street lights were beginning to illuminate the busy roads
Tell me about the suicide you witnessed last week I know some facts but not all
Was it horrible?
No
Would you have been able to stop it if you had been able to?
Yes
Then why did you not intervene the poor man was obviously troubled
The man asked me to just let him jump into the river
But the man was not of sound mind
I respected his request
I would have stopped him
He had stared into the abyss and became the abyss
I could not help him
Even if I had tried to stop him he would have returned and thrown himself off of the bridge when I had gone away
What drove him to it?
I do not know
Money
Love
Or it might have been that he saw things too clearly
Some people see things far too clearly and sometimes it destroys them
A girl dressed in a black check apron placed a slice of cake on the table between the friends
She smiled falsely and left
It was a toss-up between this lemon drizzle cake and the coffee cake
Your decision was trivial Elisabeth
Elizabeth playfully prodded Richard with her fork
And you are rude
I was not being rude
You said that my choice of cake was trivial
It was
Explain
Richard looked at a set of Charles Dickens books on the shelf above Elisabeth
They obviously had not been read for quite a while as light and almost invisible spider webs could be seen
No answer
Yes I have an answer
Go ahead
Would you say that you were comfortable?
I suppose so
What was the last challenging thing you did?
A charity trek in Africa a couple of years ago
Why did you do it?
To help people
You were guilty that you had a comfortable western lifestyle
I suppose so but where are coming from Richard?
We are the last men you know
Since God was murdered and the void was created instead of challenging ourselves we settle for a banal existence
Are you saying that my life is banal?
And mine I am just as guilty as you of not challenging myself
Here were are in this coffee shop chatting
It is a comfortable place
The view of the river is agreeable
We have been friends since childhood
You feel comfortable with me
Our existence is as banal as the choice of your cake
We live lives of timid mediocrity
Speak for yourself I am quite happy with my life
Are you not happy with your life?
In its mediocrity yes but I despise it also
We have no moral values and lack vision
Elisabeth smiled and offered Richard a piece of cake on her fork which he declined
Too trivial for you I suppose
Do you realise Richard I hate you and love you at the same time
I love you as you have always been there for me
Since the day I fell out of the apple tree and fractured my wrist
You were there for me and our relationship has not been complicated by sex or sexual attraction
You think I am attractive but you are not attracted to me
But I hate you so much at times
When I heard the story about the suicide I was disgusted with you
I hated you with every fibre of my body and cried myself to sleep that night
How could you have been so cold?
I explained to you earlier why I let him jump
If you had stopped him there might have been hope
You lacked compassion for the poor man
That is where you are wrong Elisabeth
I am a compassionate man
In a Post-Christian world that lacks compassion mine was a compassionate act
I knew of his pain
He had stared into the abyss
And the abyss had stared back at him
All your complicated words will not change my mind
Your actions were awful Richard and I will never forgive you
That was not the act of my Richard
Elisabeth felt herself getting angry with her friend and immediately changed the subject
In the corner of her eye she felt a tear and knew that Richard had noted her distress
She thought back to their childhood days when they used to bury small creatures that had died
The gentle days where were they now?
Deep down although she was attracted to Richard she was glad that they were not in a relationship
She was scared of him and wanted to keep him at arms length
What would you do if I choked on this cake?
I would rescue you
I would do what was necessary
So why did you not help that poor man
Why would you help me but not him?
As I told you Elisabeth I am a compassionate man
Both of these acts would have been compassionate
Elisabeth felt a tear run down her cheek which she dabbed with her napkin
See you have upset me
That was not my intention
I know and am happy with my world and you come along and destroy it
I think it better we do not meet for a while
That is up to you Elisabeth but I would miss you
Like it or not we are attached at the hip
Fuck you Richard
Would you like another coffee?
Fuck you Richard and yes I would like another coffee
Richard signalled to the bored waitress and ordered two coffees
Are you ok now?
Yes
I am sorry I upset you
There is a side of you that I do not understand
You stared into the void that is all
Fuck the void Richard
That is what most people say
They ignore the void
The waitress brought the coffees to the table but did not smile
May I tell you something Richard?
Anything
You will not be angry
Have I ever been angry with you?
It is not about me
Then what?
Last Sunday I was walking across the bridge when I was mugged
Were you hurt?
No just shaken up
Did they get much?
About seventy pounds from my purse but they had no interest in my cards
What happened?
I was walking back across the bridge when my path was blocked by two men
Were they foreign?
If that is important yes
Carry on
Well one of them had a pathetic little knife and pointed it towards me asking for money
I was going to run but I thought they would out sprint me and I would get hurt
So I gave them my purse
They took the money out and threw the purse into the river
Was that it?
They told me that I was lucky as they only wanted money and that I was a fucking white bitch and should not cross the bridge after dark
They said I was a slag and asking for it
Did you report it to the police?
Yes
What did they do?
Nothing they just took all the details and said that I should not really have placed myself in danger and should keep to well -lit areas a
And
They took all my details and that was that
Why did you not ring me?
Because I know the way you would have reacted
That being?
You would have gone looking for them
I know the way your brain works or at least I think I do
You would have crossed that bridge each night maybe flashing the cash
You would have made yourself a target
And then I would have dealt with the fuckers
At least one of them was carrying a knife they might have hurt you
That would be a chance that I would take
On the journey to happiness one has to suffer a great deal of pain
Just leave it alone Richard
Do not do anything silly
I will not do anything silly
Promise
Promise
If I find that you have gone after them then I will not see you for a long while
Please act rationally this is not a movie
I promise that I will not look for them
Somehow I do not believe you
Believe me
Those fuckers will make mistakes as they are sub-human and then a man will come down from the mountains and destroy them
You are talking in riddles again Richard
No I am crystal clear
But do not worry I will keep my promise to you
About five minutes later Richard and Elisabeth left the coffee bar and were strolling along the embankment
They were holding hands and Elisabeth thought that people might mistake them for lovers
She smiled at the irony
They had decided to walk to Tower Bridge and sit on a bench and just contemplate the passing evening
You know that of all things a void is the thing that we should be most scared of
You have only have to look around the world to see that
Countries which have had dictators who have been overthrown go one of two ways
If a sense of democracy is restored quickly then the void is filled
If this does not happen then evil can take its place
Your muggers were evil
No I think they were misguided
You would not have said that if you had been stabbed or if they had raped you on the bridge
They were just scared children in a strange country
The vacancy that faced them frightened them
Rubbish they were feral little fucks emerging from the gutters of this city
I think this is a lovely city and scum like that spoil it for others
Any city in the world is going to have problems like London
I agree
There are always going to be the haves and the have-nots
They are still vermin
What would you say if I told you that I have forgiven them?
I would say that you are a hopeless case
But I have
I was scared I thought they were going to hurt me or assault me but all they took was my money and I can replace that
You would have not said that if you had been left bloodied and naked on the bridge
I agree
But I was not raped or attacked
So I forgave them
We no longer live a Christian world Elisabeth
God is dead
He was murdered
That is absolute rubbish Richard
We live in a Christian country
Look I can see a church from here
You can see a building Elisabeth thats all
We live an age of narcisissm and of abject mediocrity
Everybody in this city pretends to be happy
I am happy Richard
Are you Elisabeth?
You have not been successful in relationships and I sense you are lonely
You float around this city pretending to be happy
You have bought into the religion of comfortability
When you get home you will listen to your messages and arrange dates with your friends you will exchange trivial gossip when you meet them
You will celebrate the mundane
If I did not love you I would slap you
Be my guest
Elisabeth slapped Richard sharply on the cheek
Better now
May I continue?
Elisabeth slapped Richard again but with less force
A passing couple averted their gaze
They think we are having a tiff
Let them think that
I am sorry did I hurt you?
No
Why did you ask me to slap you?
You have been waiting to do it all evening
You are still angry with me
What you did was a pure act
And I admire you for it
Elisabeth smiled and kissed Richard on the cheek
Sorry
Do not apologise I admire your actions
I know that if you had had a pistol in your bag you would have used it on those fucks
I would not have been brave enough
Then why do you carry the MACE spray I gave you in your bag
Because you gave it to me
It is illegal to carry the spray
I was not aware of that
And whilst we are on the subject why did you not use it that night
I left it at home when I changed bags
Perfect I try to look after you and you leave your bag at home
Elisabeth yawned
Are you tired?
A little
Then I will walk with you to the tube station and see you off
No need I am going to meet Cynthia at the 24/7 store at about ten
That is if I am finished with you
A choice of cultural preferences
Sorry
I was thinking of this city
The empty values of the herd
Nobody aspires to greatness
We have turned our back on challenging ideals
Each of us including me does everything in our power to limit excess
We stare blindly into the abyss as the man who committed suicide once did
The only difference is that the abyss stared back at the poor soul
That is why he killed himself
He was a hollow man
That is why I did not stop him
He should have strived for greatness
Instead he strived for mediocrity and it killed him
He saw the void
Richard turned around and found out that he had been addressing himself as Elisabeth was chatting excitedly with a couple of friends
He walked towards them
Cynthia this is Richard my dearest friend
Pretty this is Richard
What a coincidence this is I was due to meet the girls in a couple of hours but they decided to visit Shapiro’s Bar and saw us passing
Shall I take my leave of you
You don’t have to
I am sure you have a lot of catching up to do
I believe you have just returned from China Pretty
Japan I was in Japan
A fine country
Yes I liked it
Have you ever visited Japan?
No but I am planning to
Richard hugged Elisabeth
I will disappear now and let you girls chat together
I still have a great deal of work to do
Are you sure
Yes
Same time same coffee bar in a fortnight
I look forward to it
Liar
Elisabeth and her friends walked away
Dishy guy
No it is not like that
If you don’t want him
Later as Richard made his way across the bridge he was stopped by the waitress who had earlier served him coffee
She asked for a light
As he lit her cigarette Richard lit one for himself
He hadn’t told Elisabeth that he had started smoking again
He accompanied the waitress to her bus stop and waited with her until her bus arrived
After making sure she was safely on board he crossed the bridge again
He looked at the dark river and knew he was staring into the abyss
Richard was a great distance from the mountains
But this did not worry him and he took comfort from the fact that he had now started his journey