Secret Commonwealth & Thomas of the River both admired Geraldine the fisherman’s daughter

To settle their arguments they would engage in literary quizzes with the winner finding her favour

Right the one who names the most Irish writers will spend the night with me followed by a delicious kipper breakfast

She looked at Secret Commonwealth and Thomas of the River who were both ready with their pads

You have ten minutes to list as many Irish writers as you can think of   

Starting Now!

As her friends scribbled furiously Geraldine began folding red and yellow table napkins which she would  use as flags when she was at sea

Time is up put your pens down

She looked at Secret Commonwealth

Would you read you list to me when Thomas leaves the room and when you are finished please leave the room and send Thomas back in so that he may read his list to me

Please would you not speak to each other until I announce the result

Samuel Beckett

James Joyce

J M Synge

Flan O’ Brien

Brendan Behan

Jonathan Swift

Secret Commonwealth gave his pad to Geraldine and left the room

Seconds later Thomas of the River entered the small room that overlooked the harbour wall

George Bernard Shaw

Oscar Wilde

Sean O’Casey

Oliver Goldsmith

W B Yeats

Patrick Kavanagh

Thomas of the River gave his pad to Geraldine and sat in the small wicker chair near the door

Geraldine called Secret Commonwealth back into the room and he sat opposite his friend on a slightly larger wicker chair

I declare the result a draw boys as you both gave me six answers each

Because of the draw you shall both bed me tonight

Later as Secret Commonwealth and Thomas of the River lay on Geraldine’s ample breasts they made plans for yet another literary quiz

We should name as many Scottish writers as we can and the winner can bed Morag the Blacksmith’s daughter

Geraldine who had been pretending to be asleep opened her eyes

I am sure that Morag will be up for the game but as you both know she is so flat chested

It would almost be like bedding a boy

If I were you I would name as many Welsh writers as you know with Anwen the Grocer’s daughter being the prize

She may not be as voluptuous as me but she turns many a glance when waiting for the boats to return home