The Beatification of Father Etienne Pernet


Sammi Coconut and Precious Glass were swimming naked in the lake where a King once drowned

As they swam they could see two cops standing above their abandoned clothes taking notes

Do you think that we are in trouble for swimming without clothes?

I doubt it they are probably waiting for us to come ashore so that they can look at our bodies

I suppose it makes a pleasurable difference from catching the bad guys all the time

As they emerged from the lake the taller of the two cops took a photograph

Why did you take our photograph?

For our records

It is part of the new procedures

That being if we catch women with silly names swimming naked in the lake where the King once drowned then we are authorised to take their photographs for our records

Imagine the interest your photographs might cause in a hundred years

May we have our clothes please?

No

Why?

It is against the current procedures

Do you expect us to walk into town like this?

You will be handed your clothes when you complete a task

Oh yes

No it is not what you think

What is the task?

We would like you to pray with us so that the Beatification of Reverend Father Etienne Pernet may be obtained

You would like us to pray with you and then you will return our clothes

Yes

Please kneel

Both Sammi Coconut and Precious Glass knelt in front of the cops

This is odd

I agree

Pretty weird

Silence please

Both cops removed their hats and bowed their heads

O God who didst grant to the Rev Father Etienne Pernet to understand the needs of the poor and didst inspire him to found the Congregation of the Little Sisters of the Assumption for the Christian regeneration of the families of the working class

Thou Who didst fill his heart with that burning zeal which made him repeat unceasingly O Lord unite all minds in truth and all hearts in charity we beseech Thee if it be Thy will that Thy Servant should be honoured by the Church to manifest by heavenly favours his power with Thee

Through Jesus-Christ our Lord

Amen

For about a minute there was complete silence

You may stand up now

Your clothes are near the patrol car please dress if you are feeling chilled

Sammi Coconut and Precious Glass dressed and beckoned the cops who had turned their backs to them to join them

Would you like a coffee as the evening is drawing in and attracting the cooler winds?

Please

And you Rolf

Thank you

I thought you were going to arrest us for swimming without clothes

No many do it

It is not illegal

I think that the thought of swimming with the dead King turns many maidens on

Or so I have heard

And the photographs?

They are for our clipboard back at the station

Different patrols compete against each other

We have twenty-five and are leading by three but B Patrol is catching up fast although I think they are cheating

One of the women looks suspiciously like Bremen’s sister

I recognise the scar on her abdomen

Do you have any friends with silly names who might be willing to swim in the lake?

We have many friends with silly names but they live far away although I will mention it to them when we return

When does the contest finish?

November as it is too cold to swim in the lake after November  

A car drew up and two men and two women ran to the side of the lake and began undressing

Both cops looked in the general direction of the new visitors

We must take our leave of you

May I say it has been our pleasure

And if you don’t mind me saying I enjoyed your tattoos

Sammi Coconut and Precious Glass what strange names you have

And what a good idea to have each other’s names tattooed on your bodies

There is not enough true love in the world

That fact was taught to us by the Reverend Father from a very early age

 


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