I am considered to be something of an expert on Art History

It is a subject that I have followed for many years

I have written books about art which are always published on April the 4th

It is my favourite day of the year as it precedes April the 5th

 

I was in America and had been invited to inspect the Presidential Collection

My main point of contact was Tina Frey who I had met in London on a reciprocal visit

She noted that I would meet the President on April the 6th

I was told that he had an interest in art but was not very knowledgeable

 

We were travelling towards Long Island when she told me that she had stolen a Chagall

The President had not noticed and her immediate superiors had retired

It was a perfect moment to steal the painting as she would not be suspected

She asked me to blackmail her to increase the experience

I agreed that I would as long as she told the President that I was profoundly deaf