I was the youngest of six children

And was the only boy

We were all born within a period of ten years

But I was always treated as the baby of the group

Which I enjoyed a great deal as I was doted upon

My sisters all had names beginning with M

Martha Mary Marlene Colin and Maude

I was called Marcus Mark which was a name that I really enjoyed

Especially as my second name was Millar

My sisters satisfied my every need

Both physically and mentally

But I did not grow up spoilt

Far from it

They found me friends and I was given a cat each year for my birthday

From an early age I wanted to be a Member of Parliament

Which was not not surprising as we all lived in Henley-on-Thames

Martha Mary Marlene Claudia Colin and Maude vetted all my girlfriends

Which was very important as I attended many official functions

At the age of twenty-three I became the MP for Henley-on-Thames

It was the first by-election where nobody voted for the opposition as I was so good looking

My sisters found me a wife who was rather plain

But assured me that I could trade her in when I became a junior minister

They kept their promise and rewarded me with a girlfriend who resembled a rabbit

She was far brighter than me having received an Oxford first which helped me out no end

As I travelled at speed up the party tree

She and my sisters wrote all my speeches and shaped my comfortable views

I am due to meet the Queen next week and will be asked to form the next government

With my girlfriend who looks like a rabbit and my five sisters whose names begin with M

I am planning to employ my many cats as political advisors as long as they do not mind travelling north