Emily I think we have run out of milk

Would you send the maid to Clarke’s 

She’s dead 

Oh Dear 

How 

Julia 

What about Julia 

She popped over to Dimbola 

To have her likeness captured 

And there she caught a chill 

You know how damp the studios are 

They always make me ill 

 

Pause as the funeral procession passes

 

Emily can you still milk a cow

Yes 

Well would you pop out and milk our cow 

Sadly I cannot Alfred 

Why 

The cow is no more 

You mean it has strayed again 

No worse than that 

You mean its dead 

Yes 

How 

Julia 

What about Julia 

Our cow popped over to Dimbola 

To have her likeness captured 

And there she caught a chill 

You know how damp the studios are 

They always make me ill 

 

Pause as the bovine funeral procession passes

 

I hear that taking your tea or coffee black 

It is all the rage in polite society 

Our Queen has banned milk from Osborne 

So I think that we should concur 

I agree 

When are you seeing Victoria 

I am told that it is next week 

Our audience has been cancelled

Oh how sad

But why

She’s dead 

Oh Dear 

How 

Julia 

What about Julia 

She popped over to Dimbola 

To have her likeness captured 

And there she caught a chill 

You know how damp the studios are 

They always make me ill 

 

Pause as the state funeral procession passes