I had felt sick that morning and found myself in an unpleasant loo in a shopping mall where I shit freely and without reason

As I looked at the door I saw evidence of recent homosexual activity which sickened me even more

After an age I reached forward to the paper dispenser and found it to be empty

Tears of anger mixed with my sweat and ran slowly down my cheeks

Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique

My train had been cancelled and as I waited for the next one the platform became very full

The station announcer who I had fucked in a previous life informed me  that the train was now full and standing

Which is was when it arrived

As I tried to squeeze on to the train a cunt had cross words with me which I ignored although I wanted him to dance in pain to the music of a Kalashnikov

He further argued with an ugly woman who scratched his face with her tiger nails

But my joy was short lived as I realised that the express that I was on did not stop at my station

Which was only a blur as we sped through its familiar surroundings

Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique

When I arrived late at my place of employment I headed for the shower room

To clean myself up

But it was closed for renovation and I was directed to a gym two miles away

I worked late that day to make up the time and kept away from my tedious colleagues

Saying that I was not all that well which they might have guessed

On the way home after stopping at the pharmacy

I popped into my local shop and purchased some milk and a bag of sugar

But the bag split only yards from my flat and the contents shattered at my feet

Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique

A soon as I arrived home I ran a bath but found that my lavender bath water was cold as my boiler had blown a fuse

I bathed in its arctic waters that evening

But at least I was clean and my stomach appeared to have settled

I cooked a light meal and watched football on the television

My favourite side lost heavily to a team that I despised and were out of the cup for another season

Life then took a turn for the better when my sweetheart sent me a text and suggested that we might break up

 As I was a bore and very predictable as well as being a lousy fuck

Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique

It was time to go to bed I said to myself and soon I was between my cool sheets

I then remembered that I had forgotten to feed my budgie only to find that the poor creature

Was stiff and dead on the floor its ruby cage

It was a warm night and the stagnant air in my flat was heavy and still

I was in a dilemma as my pet’s decomposition was near

If I left its disposal to the morning the room would stink of death

Distribution into the street below was an option

As a meal for the feral cats

But I loved the bird and he had been my constant companion for a number of years

It was then that I decided to wrap him a gentle yellow duster and place him in the rubbish chute

Which was nearly opposite my door.

But there was a problem as I was naked and my gown was in the wash

So I decided to chance it and go to the chute and dispose of my little friend

I opened my door with a little apprehension

The coast seemed to be clear so I crept across the passage

As I did so I thought of my ex and how we would when drunk streak along the passage as far as the lift in joyous and gay abandon

But those days were long gone

I was a bore and a predictable fuck

But this was of little concern to me as I deposited my budgie into the vacancy of the chute

It was then that the obvious dawned on me as I realised that I had locked myself out

With owl eyes I stared at the empty passage in despair

A cold knotting gripped my poor stomach

I had also forgotten to take the binding agent

That had been suggested by the pharmacist

Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique