Today is my Thirty-Sixth birthday

And I am celebrating it joyously

With Erika and her garden gate

We are all naked as the B&B is empty

That is how we were spend our day

I am so blissfully happy here in Leeds

As I never thought that inanimate objects

Possessed such intelligence and feelings

And because of that I suppose souls

Erika is going to paint the garden gate

Red in preparation for the holiday season

Which means that for obvious reasons

It will not be able to share our bed

Which is a little sad as I read an article

Which I wanted to share with Garden Gate

That had reported that a Russian woman

Had recently married her leather briefcase