For the last twenty-eight years I have been the senior controller of the buses and trains at Martin Station

I was sent there as a punishment after I caused the Martin Martin train crash in which 127 asylum seekers died

But although I served a token prison sentence of a day my actions (or lack of) meant that I was relegated to this little junction station

Although quiet it is quite an complex station to manage as I need to ensure that all trains and buses are precisely run in sequence

Quite frequently I have a train without a bus and a bus without a train or nothing at all

Prior to my demotion and appointment the six previous controllers had committed suicide by throwing themselves under trains

A seventh was due to throw himself under a train at Martin Martin Martin railway station on the day that I fucked up killing 127 asylum seekers two dogs and four cats

Up to 1909 Martin was a leper colony and this shows as I occasionally find limbs on the platform and in the ladies powder room

Only yesterday I found a finger in the chocolate machine next to the buffet

I actually treat my passengers with contempt as like older people they moan moan moan and moan

It drags you down and you feel nothing but violence towards them and I occasionally order hits carried out by the families of the asylum seekers who died

I have yet to retrieve a head from the Martin Tunnel which fell off last Tuesday

I will collect the head but first I want to finish my painting of Martin Bus Station which is due to be exhibited at the RA Summer Exhibition as were my previous works

The First to Die

Squashed Beyond Recognition and Martin Railway Station on a Spring Evening

These have made me a rich man and I have six lovely wives who wait on me hand and foot

They are all called Hazel Bee except Hazel Bee Bee who is called Hazel Bee Bee

In all I am a happy man who is more than content with his lot

I was due to retire last year but asked to stay on and now I pay the Martin Railway Company a salary each month

 

Martin Martin-Martin (2022)