Your arse is hairy 

Said Mary Mary 

But mine is rather smooth 

 

I had written this on the wall of a gender neutral toilet

I had also written Veritas on the enamel pan

And Aequitas on the light blue door

 

From my hiding place I saw a  tall man enter the next cubicle

He was wearing a dress which was red with red flowers decorated

I could hear him pleasuring himself and after a noisy climax

A soiled gay girl mag dropped to the floor

Although I was quite disgusted

I let this sad man return to his place in the Houses of Parliament

As he was my local Labour MP a good man but a man with a dirty secret

 

I was writing a book about Kitty when I saw a mugger snatch a tourists bag

Instantly I shot him between the eyes even though I did not have a gun

He stared at me for an instant before he fell to ground quite dead

I handed the tourist her bag and suggested that she carry an imaginary gun

 

She smiled and invited me to her flat in Berlin

Her name was Kitty Kitty

Which is identical to mine