Your arse is hairy
Said Mary Mary
But mine is rather smooth
I had written this on the wall of a gender neutral toilet
I had also written Veritas on the enamel pan
And Aequitas on the light blue door
From my hiding place I saw a tall man enter the next cubicle
He was wearing a dress which was red with red flowers decorated
I could hear him pleasuring himself and after a noisy climax
A soiled gay girl mag dropped to the floor
Although I was quite disgusted
I let this sad man return to his place in the Houses of Parliament
As he was my local Labour MP a good man but a man with a dirty secret
I was writing a book about Kitty when I saw a mugger snatch a tourists bag
Instantly I shot him between the eyes even though I did not have a gun
He stared at me for an instant before he fell to ground quite dead
I handed the tourist her bag and suggested that she carry an imaginary gun
She smiled and invited me to her flat in Berlin
Her name was Kitty Kitty
Which is identical to mine