A farmer’s wife should always greet guests in the nude as this creates harmony

There are four types of Maze. Always grow the fifth

Teach all your livestock about the probability of famine

Your cottage should be effortless in its beauty

You should not be able to see Iceland from your highest tree

Combine Harvesters should receive holidays in April, May and July

Your sheepdog should be called Gurdjieff and have ability in four languages

Sheep become invisible in the winter as apples do in the summer. The reason for this is unknown

Of your twenty-eight fields, six should be left fallow. The size of your farm should not exceed four hundred and ninety six acres

You should twin your farm with those in Rhodesia