In my dream I had moved back to Shepherds Bush
Where I had lived as a child
I had not been too happy about moving back
As I thought that the area would be inner city and violent
But I found nothing but nice people and a gentle community
We were running a newsagents shop which was next to an American themed cafe
And this is where my dream turned strange as I soon met Clint Eastwood
This was not the mean Clint Eastwood of his Spaghetti Westerns
But the nice Clint Eastwood of Paint you Wagon
He took to me straight away and called me
The Picture Show Man
Due to my interest in cinema
He asked me write and direct a scene from his latest movie
There was a less than honest character in the town
Who lent money at high interest rates
Many of the town folk were indebted to him
And because of this the Indian shopkeeper and his English wife
Had closed up shop paid up their debts and left Shepherds Bush
And therein lay his weakness as he had bought up their empty shop
So that he could open it as a casino attracting people who were not that nice
To this lovely square in the middle of Shepherds Bush
And this is where Clint came in and my screenplay become confused
As Clint had soon become aware of the characters dishonesty
He invited the good people of the town to my fathers shop
And with swindler present said that the man he had made one million dollars
By investing their over payments in a get rich quick mine
Clint was immediately challenged to prove his accusation
It was then that I produced two ex army surplus lockers
And said that the matter would in time be solved
If Clint and the dishonest character stepped in to them
After a short discussion scripted by me this took place
Although due to Clint’s height I had to remove the upper shelf
Nothing happened for a while apart from the lockers gently shaking
I was then invited to open them so we could reach a denouement
This I did and we found them empty apart from a copy of
The Shepherds Bush Gazette which was caught on a desert breeze
And blown out into the dusty square with little opposition
I explained that I had been writing a script for a science fiction movie
And had mixed the pages of both scripts together in a moment of confusion
In a way I expected a less than happy reaction from the people of the town
But their reaction surprised me as I was patted on the back and kissed by the bar owners wife
They explained to me that although they loved having Clint in the square
They were afraid that his violent past would follow him into the town
And it would be for the best if Clint and the dishonest character
Were travelling in time millions of light years away from Shepherds Bush
I was a celebrity and was invited with my father and brother to the cafe next door
For a Last Picture Show hamburger meal with lashings of coke and lemon coffee
My reputation was further enhanced when I was able to identify all the film posters on the wall
I was an expert on French New Wave cinema and the cinema of South America which helped a great deal
My brother had returned from the post office and we were ready for our burgers and coke
When my phone rang quietly in my pocket
I excused myself and answered the call
It was Clint who told me that he had left the dishonest character in an eternal worm hole
And was coming back on the 15:17 from Paris which was due to arrive in London at tea time
He said that he had an idea for a new movie and wanted me to write the script