Terry Super – Humorous
committed suicide
in front of an ICE train
he always knew that he would die of the cold
he married a co-joined twin
and had an affair with her sister
for this crime he was committed to prison island
where he had a butterfly tattooed onto his chest
within days it had flown away
so he replaced it with a lion
lions do not fly away
he celebrated his birthday
on the longest day
each year
although he was born in February
he shared his birthday
with his brother Swansea
although he only had sisters
whom he loved very much
his sisters did not reciprocate his love
and stole all his clothes
he wore the same suit for twenty three years
until the day he committed suicide
when he purchased a new one
this suit remains at the cleaners
The Strict Life of Father Mike
His church was only half built
so he offered only short sermons
He would not baptise anybody
over four feet tall
and his summer fairs would only last twenty minutes
But all was fine in the parish of Father Mike
For he had stolen the church spire
and was holding it captive
until it confessed its sins
An odd attraction to a nearby yew
A tree that Father Mike secretly loved
Geraldine Daulaphine
liked her name
and was drawn
to its many vowels
she was not however a fan
of alliteration
as she considered it baroque
aged twenty she moved
into a dictionary
and stayed there until she was forty three
she now lives in new york
between two volumes
of classical biography