Surveyed his estates
from the many windows
of his special room

He raced his peacocks in the orangerie
as they liked his citrus fruits
mixed with grapes
and curdled milk

His haha was filled in
as he did not approve
of its humour
and none of his trees were over
five feet high

Doves dyed blue
were his favourite birds
and he built for each of them
cotes three miles into the sky
where they could raise their families
in perfect peace

When his mother died
he had her buried in the kitchen
where she could watch
the lazy servants
burn his many meals

He built a porch
using 1500 bricks
and with the remaining 400
he built 19 walls
to keep the intruders in
so he could discuss
their lives of crime

Instead of carpets
he laid purple cyclamen
in all rooms
with the exception
of his study
where he laid soft dentaria

Jutland came from a long line
of philosophers, writers and cooks
but he never wrote a word
or cooked a meal
preferring instead to study
the history of marmalade
in his special room